Grocery Shopping is Hard

I had no food in the refrigerator. This was not unusual . All I could possibly scrounge up for dinner was soggy lettuce with one wrinkled cherry tomato. This should have motivated me to go to the grocery store, but it didn’t. I suffered from grocery shopping A.D.D. Yes, it was true and I assumed–rare. With determination and resolve I’ve tried to overcome my handicap. I was methodical and precision-like in my quest to conquer this problem. I always made a list of what I wanted to buy in order to stay “on message.” I wrote it in my best penmanship so I could read it when I was in the store and not use illegibility as an excuse to flee. I’ve even attempted alphabetizing by food groups but still lost interest. Like a soldier going into combat, I packed up my purse and headed for my personal battlefield – the market.

List clutched in my fist, I remained strong as I a grabbed a giant cart determined to fill it. I headed directly to the first item on my list–“milk”, but felt the wine aisle call to me. I gazed longingly in that direction. I began to lose focus and little beads of sweat started to drip down my forehead. “I need milk, I need milk, I need milk,” I repeated like a Bovine mantra. I arrived a little sweaty but wine-free at my destination. I plucked a gallon of skim off the shelf and with one item down moved triumphantly to yogurt. My head felt hot like it was about to explode as I stared at the varieties and flavors: low fat, non fat, Greek, fruit on bottom , fruit on top, granola topped, Boston Cream Pie, Key Lime Pie, Cherry, Strawberry Banana, Raspberry, Lemon, Vanilla, Blueberry, or Dreamsicle. I began to feel like I was in a bad dream-cycle and wanted to wake up anywhere there weren’t cows.

I looked at the lonely gallon of milk in my basket and then my list. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I had aisles and food groups to go, but my resolve was gone. I’d lost focus and my desire for dinner. I decided it wasn’t worth standing in line to buy one item regardless of how tempted I was to to read the latest “People” magazine. I left the basket behind and went home. Admittedly I lost the battle but knew how to win the war.

“Is this Domino’s? I’d like to order a small cheese pizza to be delivered.”