There are some who like a soothing shot of Jack Daniels and some who like the potent punch of a Kamikaze, but even the most experienced tavern patron might turn away from the newest drink being offered by one Australian pub – horse semen shots.
No, it’s not a silly name to describe a trendy aperitif. It’s truly horse semen that is gathered from horses by hand. Yes, you read correctly–by hand. And just so the pub doesn’t gross people out too much, they flavor the semen with apple syrup, so it’s a little easier to swallow. If anyone wants the specific recipe—and please don’t try this at home—it is one part horse semen, a touch of apple syrup, chill to serve and pour in a shot glass.
Right off the bat, I have a problem with this drink besides the obvious fact that it is horse semen. Nowhere in the recipe does the word alcohol show up. The only way I would ever try this out, and I would have to be really drunk to even consider this, is if it contained some 200-proof booze. Does proof go up that high? I need a high octane rating for two reasons: First, I don’t want to be cognizant of what I am drinking and second, sanitizing purposes. If I can’t drink bleach with this shot because of the harmful side effects, I will need some kind of sterilizing substance to accompany the beverage on the way down.
I know that the majority of people (I hope) are saying, “Who would drink this?” Apparently, this new “beverage” is catching on with the dare crowd. You know those people who respond to words like “I dare you to climb that mountain” or “I dare you to spend a night in a haunted house” and now, “I dare you to drink horse semen.”
I guess if you put the words, “I dare you” in front of any sentence, there will always be takers. The drink is popular with both men and women and curiosity is the main reason why customers are lining up at the bar. Would trying this drink be something to brag about? I’m not sure. The admission to drinking horse semen would yield one of two results: Either the horse semen drinker will be blown away with requests for dates because a potenital partner would find this horse semen thing kinky or the horse semen drinker will never have another date because some might think it a real turn off.
As puzzled as I am about those who sample this “drink”, I have to wonder about the person who came up with this concoction. How or where or when did someone say, “Would you like to go visit a horse and see if we can get his semen to drink? I think it will be a hit at the bars.”
How does the idea for horse semen even come up in a conversation? And when it does come up in a conversation, wouldn’t a normal person reject this idea as being over-the-top? What kind of individual after hearing a suggestion to develop a drink from horse semen says, “Gee, what a good idea!”
Now, I know that this new cocktail comes from Australia, the land of Crocodile Dundee and Dingoes who eat hapless humans, and I know that Australians are supposedly more rugged and tougher than Americans, but horse semen? I would think that even the hardiest of people might consider drinking horse semen, apple flavored or not, not a smart action to take.
Well, if this semen drink winds up swimming across the Pacific and into North American shores, I probably wouldn’t be too surprised. If it has an exotic label on it, many will jump at the chance to be the first in the country to try it out. After all we have embraced sushi, frogs legs, alligator meat, and of course, our own domestic Rocky Mountain Oysters (bull testicles). Now that I think about it, some people even eat horse meat, so I guess if one is going to partake in that, one has to wonder if horse semen is that much different. YES, it is that much different!
Okay, I do have a real argument against this–actually, it’s more like a caveat, and it goes something like this, and this is the best I can do under these circumstances: Before one takes a drink from any fountain, one really needs to check out the water supply.
http://www.horsemart.co.uk/news/pub_selling_apple_flavoured_horse_semen_shots/2597
photo by palomino
From a owner of horses I’ll quote the words of Willy Nelson, “Whiskey for my friends, beer for my horses.” BTW my horses votes, “NEY” on the semen shots too!
Good for them Deb! It’s hard to find horses with good morals nowadays! 🙂
I’m surpised you didn’t elaborate on the “harvesting” process. Do they play soothing music? Or maybe they use the alcohol missing from the drink for the stud to make him more cooperative!
Honestly, Mike, I thought that fact best left to the reader’s imagination and look, you didn’t disappoint!
I hear it goes well with kangaroo tail. My daughter actually cooked kangaroo tail for us. I guess the horse semen drink hadn’t been invented yet, cause she didn’t offer us any. I could ask her to bring some with her when she comes to visit if you want.
I have tried my fair share of weird food and I am not shy about being adventurous, but this was just too much for me!
So all the horses in Australia were already pregnant? Like you, I wonder how people come up with crazy ideas and more importantly, I wonder about people who agree to support crazy (and stupid) ideas. I can hear the neigh-sayers (sorry, couldn’t help it) saying, “Yes, but have you tried it?” And to them I say, “Why, no, I haven’t, but then again I haven’t sipped pee spiced with coconut either.”
I think people just want to say they did something really strange. ICKKKKKK!
BLEAH! Enough said! 😛 😛 😛
Kathy, I think you said it best! I totally agree!
In a word… Yuck!!! I’ll stick to beer.
I don’t blame you Jack! 🙂