How Can Soap Get Germs and Other Life Mysteries

I see all these advertisements for the latest craze in our zeal to keep germs away from us — the personal automatic soap dispenser.  Not that these are new because I’ve seen them for years in public restrooms squirting out that little dab of soap while you frantically run from sink to sink trying to get that automatic water dispenser to do its job and give you some water.  Anyway, the idea is that when those grubby little ones come in from outside where we all know they’ve been making mud pies and feeding them to the cat, the little angels won’t have to touch anything that pertains to the soap bottle.  Okay, I’ll go along with that, but how does that help the faucet from being covered in germs, because around my house, we don’t have those automatic dispensers and more than likely won’t be getting any in the near future.

On the other hand, why are we so worried about a bar of soap anyway?  How can soap become germ-infested?  After all, I always though that’s why soap was there in the first place.  It’s almost like don’t put the Tide in with the dirty clothes because it’ll get dirt in it.

And speaking of soap and water, why is it that when you take a bath and you dry off with a clean towel, that the towel is suddenly dirty?  Seems to me if you’ve done your job properly in the shower, all that towel is really removing from your body is water.  Let’s face it, clean water is what that towel was swishing around in before it got there, and it didn’t hurt it.

Changing the subject, why do we call the alternative to mayonnaise salad dressing when we really don’t use it on salads?  I mean, we call Italian, French and Thousand Island salad dressing, and that’s the way most people use them.  The whole time in my youth when I worked as a waitress, not once did anyone ask me for mayo to pour slop over their green salad.

Exactly where are those Thousand Islands anyway?  I mean, is there some mysterious place out in the middle of the ocean that is composed of this large number of islands that grow the special ingredients needed to make Thousand Island salad dressing.  I guess it may be located somewhere around the place where those cows live that produce the milk that comprises cheese that’s blue.  I’m still trying to figure that one out.