I Really Know How to F Up My Kid!

The family went to the planetarium in Philadelphia this week. My parents were in town, I had a day off and the kids wanted to see the mummy exhibit. Well, my 8-year-old daughter did. My four-year old son, well, he just said “gross” every time we walked by one of the old corpses.

After the mummy exhibit, and my son wondering if the mummy’s could actually follow us, we decided to go into the planetarium to see the show about black holes before we headed home. When we were shown a vortex for the black hole, I said, “Look Seth, here we go, we are going inside!” As we sat in our seats, staring up at the convex ceiling, it actually felt like we were swirling into the black hole, so Seth started to scream.

“I want to gome HOME! I want to go HOME!”

“Seth, I was just kidding. We are just watching it,” I whispered as I put my arm around him.

“The room is moving!” he screamed and began to cry.

“Seth, you have to be quiet so others can watch the show.”

“Mom, I want to go HOME!”

So for the next twenty minutes, Seth wailed, I shushed him and others glanced at us. Finally I just told my daughter and parents we’d meet them outside. Seth was too upset to stay.

The next day, here in New Jersey, I was sitting at my desk writing an article on the computer when all of a sudden our house started really swaying. I stood up and almost fell down.

“Oh my god, we are having an earthquake!” I said aloud.

“Mommy, what’s wrong?” Seth ran into the den.

“We’re having an earthquake,” I panicked for a second, stepped on one of our curtains, and the rod fell and clunked me pretty hard on the head.

“I’m scared!” Seth said, clutching my leg.

“It was just an earthquake,” I tried to say calmly. I lived in Los Angeles when they had the 1994 Northridge  earthquake, which was a doosey, so I knew what it was. I was in complete shock that I was feeling one in New Jersey.

So at night, now, Seth cries before he goes to bed because he thinks mummy’s might follow him to his house where there are earthquakes, and if that doesn’t get him, the f-ing black hole will!

All that terror in one week. They do say your parents will mess you up. I just didn’t know it would happen so fast!



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4 thoughts on “I Really Know How to F Up My Kid!”

  1. I feel his pain. I had the same experience as a child when we went to the house of mirrors. My mom said, “See what you’ll look like if you keep whining!” I screamed and ran into my brother, he started crying and it looked like the hall of the damned!

    1. i know….i really thought he would be fine…now we have a hurricane coming, guess I need to sign him up for therapy next week!
      thanks donna!

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