Jumpstart your Summer with the Solar Bikini | HumorOutcasts

Jumpstart your Summer with the Solar Bikini

June 26, 2011

Every year, some inventor somewhere comes up with an invention that makes the world take notice. News outlets wait in line for interviews from the inventors; venture capitalists offer millions of dollars to be a part of the marketing boom; and consumers hand over their credit card numbers all for the chance to own the coolest gadget of the year.

Well, this year is no different. Today, I read about an invention so worthwhile, so beneficial to mankind that it deserves all the accolades and attention it attracts.  It goes beyond the ShamWow and the Reacher–that long pole with the claw at the end that helps old people get items from top shelves. It is a product that combines technology with style; it is the Solar Bikini.

All the rage in beachwear, the Solar Bikini is  “a custom made bikini swimsuit retrofitted with 1″ x 4″ photovoltaic film strips sewn together in series with conductive thread. The cells terminate in a 5 volt regulator into a female USB connection”  So what does all this techno-talk mean?  Your bikini can charge an IPod! How many times have we forgotten to charge our iPods and found ourselves without music on the beach?  I am unsure if it can charge cell phones, or Kindles or other “personal” electronics but it’s nice to know that technology has come through to make sure we are never without our favorite tunes. Okay, there are some downsides: the person in the bikini can’t get wet.  Apparently, electricity and water is a bad combo and the wearer of the bikini can wind up with an electrical shock in all the wrong places and probably, not to be crude, but permanent headlights.

So, how would one stay cool at the beach wearing this suit, if one cannot get wet?  Well, the inventors of the Solar Bikini have thought ahead and come up with a male version which contains a beer cozy inside the suit.  The iDrink, the male solar suit, includes a larger surface area which allows more voltage which can cool a single beer in the custom cozy.  Voltage imbedded in a man’s bathing suit? Hm.  What else can the voltage bring alive in that suit?

I admit that the Solar Bikini sounds like a good idea, but I am unsure as to where one plugs in the iPod. Being that the swimsuit is a bikini, the point of charging has to be in the bra or the bottoms and neither sound “comfortable”, but I could be wrong.  Just a thought, but wouldn’t it have been better if the company who makes the electrically charged swimwear made a Solar Hat instead.  This way, the hat can come off if someone wanted to get wet and sensitive body parts would not be in the way of the voltage.  Okay, not a hat person, how about a solar beach bag?  There is already a beach towel on the market that contains stereo speakers that play an iPod or tunes through an iPhone, but I don’t know if it charges any of these devices. Maybe the bikini people and the towel people can get together and make one product that does all thus eliminating the need for a person to be his or her own power source. I think this would be a worthwhile joint venture.

I bet the Solar Bikini sells.  I think the people who think technology is sexy will go for this product because nothing is hotter than a body that can jumpstart dead objects.  I am not sure about the beer cozy because I have questions about safety.  Couldn’t this product lead to some horrible accidents if the beer spills inside the suit?  If you can’t go swimming in the bathing trunks because of the danger of electrocution, wouldn’t liquids in near proximity of sensitive body parts cause a really bad power outage?

While I recognize the ingenuity that went into the Solar Bikini, I have to wonder about the motives of the inventors. Is it really about iPod convenience or is there something diabolical at the core of this invention?  Either way, If I go to the beach this summer and run across someone flopping on the sand like a dying fish, I will definitely wonder if they were careless with their solar beachwear.



Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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12 Responses to Jumpstart your Summer with the Solar Bikini

  1. Jack Sass
    June 28, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    A solar Burka makes more sense to me. You’d have more coverage for solar collection, and in turn more power output. I’m totally patenting it and selling it for usage in the Middle East! Millionaire status, here I come!

    • June 28, 2011 at 9:50 pm

      Sounds like a dangerous move, Jack! Be careful over there. 🙂

  2. Kathy Minicozzi
    June 27, 2011 at 10:48 am

    When are they going to invent something for fat women who can’t wear bikinis? I mean … maybe we, too, would like to charge up our essential beach equipment! This is discrimination against the mass-enhanced, and we will not stand for it!

    So there! 😉

    • June 27, 2011 at 10:49 am

      HA HA! Nice rant! I will email them your question

  3. lbwoodgate
    June 27, 2011 at 12:34 am

    I don’t think all women who go to the beach wearing very small amounts of clothing think about swimming as much as they do about being seen. What better gift for someone who fits this profile?

    • June 27, 2011 at 7:11 am

      I agree LB, but it’s nice to have the option to get wet. Once the bikini chick knows she can’t go in the water, that is when she will want to go in the water and then what?

  4. June 26, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    Every invention has pros and cons, and not every gadget is for everyone. If you invent something, there will be a market for it. I applaud anyone who has an idea, and does something about it.

    I definitely agree with you about having an alternative way of charging. Who wants to go to the beach and have to stay dry.

    • June 27, 2011 at 7:08 am

      It is actually really difficult to get an idea to product. My husband has gone through the patent process a few times. But we never had anything like this so I give this company kudos too!

  5. June 26, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    It’s so hard to stay abreast of new technology! Thanks for this report. Any technology looks sexier when attached to a nearly nude woman! I’ll pass on the beer cozy.

    • June 27, 2011 at 7:06 am

      Figures you liked the bikini and not the men’s swim trunks. LOL Also glad that you appreciate me keeping you abreast!

  6. June 26, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    I really like that beer cozy in the suit idea. Finally, something worthwhile.

    • June 27, 2011 at 7:04 am

      HA HA Yes, I think the beer cozy has man possibilities.

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