King of the Squirrels

This morning on the way to work, I came upon a pair of squirrels moving slowly across the road. I don’t think they noticed me, so I slowed down to avoid making squirrel pancakes. They finally saw me, moved aside, and then expressed their appreciation for my act. They said I was their savior and they wanted to worship me for the rest of their lives.

I told them that it was no big deal to me. I have good vision, good brakes, and a liberal attendance policy at work. I downplayed the whole thing, since I would hope that most people would have done the same. So, I thanked them for their offer to make me their King and Savior, but explained that I would feel kind of embarrassed and silly to take such credit for something that required so little effort from me.

Besides, what on earth would I do with a truckload of acorns, anyway?

Share this Post:

8 thoughts on “King of the Squirrels”

  1. The squirrels in my backyard were talking about you this evening, Eric. Word gets around. There is some confusion as they seem to think that you are indeed their savior. At least the New England Chapter of Squirrels does. I will keep you posted.

    Peace always,

  2. Give ’em to Julie Wimmer’s son. He’ll name them for you and give them a nice home.

  3. Talking to squirrels again huh? Don’t do it man, people will think you’re… NUTS! 😉

  4. Uh Oh! I think I killed the king’s helper last month. Does this mean I am damned for all eternity? Damn, just when life was finally going good. Can you put in a good word for me?

  5. PS – did you tell them they ought to keep worshiping you, even though there were days you didn’t have the capabilities or time to save others of their same race?

  6. Apparently some deities I could name don’t have the same level of self-esteem as you do.

Comments are closed.