Look, But You Better Not Touch

Well, there is no delicate way to discuss this topic. I came across it while looking at a website for vitamins and natural supplements. Staring before me was a health and wellness page about this activity and its importance in our lives.  And in fact, according to a survey about this activity on WebMD, 95 percent of men said they participated in it and 89 percent of women admitted to it as well.  While once thought to be an activity of perversion or mental defect, this activity is now known to provide important  physical and emotional benefits for everyone. Should I say what I am talking about or can you all just take a wild stab at it and guess?  Yes, you got it! Good job!

Do you know that  now most doctors and health professionals not only advocate the solitary pleasure fest, but also  point their patients to the many legitimate medical websites that are out there whose sole purpose is to give instruction on how to do it?  I never would have guessed that people needed an instruction booklet for this.  I would have thought that this was one of those things where nature would show you the way, but whatever helps the cause, I am okay with.

Some people still have hangups over this activity.  Some  religions frown upon their church members engaging in it in any way, calling it cheap self-gratification and a temptation from Satan. And this backwards attitude has only prevented many uptight people from learning that a certain amount of relaxation and release is a good thing.

When it comes to this activity, following religious teaching is probably a big mistake. Health experts say this acitivity not only improves one’s “spirits” but reduces stress, thwarts insomnia, improves cardiovascular health, and helps reduce one’s chances of diabetes, prostate cancer and cervical cancer.  What it does not do is make someone a pervert, cause mental illness or render someone blind.

So, I think it’s safe to say that once again, religion has missed the boat. Instead of condemning this activity, they should be giving it a hand for keeping congregations healthy, alive and able to fork over contribution dollars that keep their doors open.  So, I guess it’s time we change our tune when it comes to this topic.  Now, instead of the “Look, but don’t touch” mantra, we should be saying, “Look, touch and have a ball if you want to live to be 100.”



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11 thoughts on “Look, But You Better Not Touch”

    1. Hm. Eric. I guess that is as religious as one can expect from you. Perhaps you should let that remain of the great mysteries to your faith.

  1. Well I do drink alone, but I’m not that fond of myself to have sex with myself.

    1. Well, if you can’t be happy with yourself, how can you be happy with others?

  2. Why would anyone think this would ever not “provide important physical and emotional benefits for everyone”? One of the benefits of being a “secular heathen” is there is no guilt feeling imposed on you from any anal clergy-types.

    1. Is anal the operative word here? Just kidding. Leave it to religion to take a fun thing and make it evil.

  3. No matter how good for you the solitary activity is. It is still a lot more fun when a friend lends a hand. 😉

    1. I see that photo was not wasted on you Jack! You got the imagery. Excellent.

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