My Grandma | HumorOutcasts

My Grandma

June 7, 2011

Whenever I’m alone with my thoughts, I wonder if my grandma is looking down on me, then I wonder why she likes to watch me take a crap. She was always a little different.

I remember this one time, I took her to the Antiques Road Show. They gave me $200 for her.  They eventually returned her, because she wouldn’t stop yapping about the good old days.

Through all her strangeness, she had a big heart though, but she refused the operation, and it eventually exploded.

I’ll never forget the last words she said to me. She said, “Kevin, now please, don’t pull the pl….,” I’m not sure exactly what she meant, because I pulled the plug, I guess I’ll never know.

Kevin Woolery

Mostly untrue stories, and rants from an aspiring stand-up comedian, and comedy writer. Born, raised, and currently residing in Los Angeles, CA. Follow me at

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5 Responses to My Grandma

  1. June 8, 2011 at 1:58 am

    If I may be ever so anal and analyze your joke…You should have left the last sentence out. It’s funnier that way. Sure, some people won’t get it without you spelling it out in the last sentence, but fuck those idiots. Don’t let them fuck up your humor.

    • June 8, 2011 at 2:05 am

      I think you’re right. I actually do this joke sometimes in my stand-up, and I leave out the last sentence. For some reason I felt that it was necessary in written form.

  2. June 7, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    Oh my God! You pulled the plug! HA HA HA I bet no one asks you to be the living will executor! This is fiction, right?

    • June 7, 2011 at 9:58 pm

      Of course, not a single thing really happened, except the first part.

  3. Deb Martin-Webster
    June 7, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    HA HA HA HA HA!!! Please don’t pull the pl . . . beeeeeeeeeeeeep! Too funny!

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