My husband had a head cold this week. So, being a nice wife, I made him homemade chicken soup that I packed in a nice Tupperware container so he could nuke it at work. I bought him his favorite medicine and made him green tea at night. What did I get in return? The stupid head cold.
Gee, you would think with all my Good Samaritan gestures, I would be spared, but no last night I woke up hacking and blowing my nose. I can already predict that no one is going to make me homemade chicken soup or green tea. No, as usual I will be left to fend off bacteria and germs on my own.
This is my own fault. I should have trained my family better. Some of my girlfriends do have their families trained. When they get sick, there is a backup home maintenance plan ready to go into action. They know who is cooking dinner, who is doing laundry, who is settling the house, who is making lunches and who is taking care of the mommy in the household. My one girlfriend always gets Get-Well flowers from her husband when she is sick. To be honest, that makes me want to throw up, and if my husband ever did that, I would know he was having an affair. My family gets takeout, throws some Campbell’s soup my way (sometimes heated up) and just lets things pile up in the house because the disarray proves how much my presence is missed when I am incapacitated.
This head cold is going to be different. I am going to demand TLC. Well, maybe not TLC, I hate to be hovered over; it makes me crazy, but I think I should at least get juice and Advil brought to me. I do think it bothers the dogs when I am sick. They lie on my bed with me and stay as close to me as possible. They don’t even care when I hack up a lung. I believe they want to make me cozy and help me feel better; my husband says they are panicking because they are worried no one will remember to feed them.
The great thing about being sick is I don’t do work – well, except for writing humor posts where I bitch about how my family leaves me all alone to languish near death. No, I watch movies – The FEARnet channel movies to be exact. Yesterday, I watched a French horror movie with subtitles and guess what? I didn’t need the subtitles. Halfway through, I knew exactly what these people in the haunted house were talking about. And let’s face it, screaming is a universal language, so when they screamed, I pretty much understood something bad was about to happen. Horror in a foreign language is a bit more suspenseful. You don’t understand what is coming, so you are more surprised.
Well, I have my FEARnet lineup ready to go, but there is a shopping list on the fridge to attend to first, and clothes that need to go to the dry cleaners – oops, and a lunch meeting I forgot about. Crap, this head cold is not going to pay off at all today. Oh well, the horror movies will have to wait until tonight. That’s okay, as they are always more fun to watch with NyQuil in my system.
4 thoughts on “No Sympathy When I am Sick”
Women have that “higher pain threshold” for a reason. Suck it up.
well, I see your wife doesn’t get flowers either!
Very very funny, and totally relateable to about 98 percent of us, the other 2 percent are the ones who get the “get well” flowers. I know my wife would be following me everywhere I went if I sent her get well flowers, chocolates, or anything. I do, however, feed the dogs and cats when she is sick, its the least I can do for her.
Funny post, and funny site. Thanks
Thanks for reading and commenting Peter. I am impressed you feed the a animals. that is always a big time saver. Time best spent under the covers being sick. 🙂
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