In defense of Anthony Weiner, going on Twitter and tweeting his penis to young women sounds a whole lot dirtier than it really is. Hell, it’s not like he was poking them on Facebook.
It didn’t take long for men to be captivated by the younger of those fetching Middleton girls. Kate’s little sister Pippa so perfectly filled out the bottom of her tight, white maid-of-honor dress that the Internet has become inundated with photos of her shapely derriere. There’s a Facebook page devoted to Pippa’s bum called “The Pippa Middleton Ass Appreciation Society,” which boasts more than 230,000 members, including yours truly. There is also a website called PippasAss.com featuring a banner at the top of the page asking visitors to “Follow Pippa’s Ass on Twitter.” This takes you directly to the “Pippa Middleton Ass” Twitter page where the lovely Brit’s ass has 2,591 followers. There you will find tweets asking such ponderous questions as, “If Pippa’s ass were a candy bar, which one would it be?”
I have no idea, but she sure makes my Tootsie Roll.
In a case of the batshit crazy Republican chick calling the batshit crazy Republican chick “batshit crazy,” the Michele Bachmann camp has announced that Sarah Palin is not to be taken as a serious candidate. This puts my political wet dream of a Palin/Bachmann 2012 presidential ticket in serious jeopardy. C’mon you batshit crazy gals, kiss and make up! Or if you’re gonna fight, at least strip down to bra and panties and wrestle around in a tub of chocolate pudding.
What is it about a woman in an apron that makes men lose control? Arnold Schwarzenegger knocks up the housekeeper. French moneyman Dominique Strauss-Kahn molests a hotel maid. Egyptian banker Mahmoud Abdel Salam Omar also assaults a hotel maid. And now all these years later it comes out that Barney, Floyd, Goober and Gomer gangbanged Aunt Bee behind the courthouse.
Speaking on behalf of the liberal mob that is endangering America, I’d like to thank Ann Coulter for writing yet another book about us. Here is a list of just some of our gal Ann’s finest work:
Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right
Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism
Godless: The Church of Liberalism
Guilty: Liberal “Victims” and Their Assault on America
Demonic: How the Liberal Mob is Endangering America
That’s quite a variety of topics there Ann Baby. But I know it can get pretty difficult to keep coming up with evil ways we Liberals have perverted America, so here are a few titles you may want to consider down the road:
Moving Violations: The Liberal Driver in Front of Me Didn’t Use His Fucking Turn Signal!
Bestiality: The Liberal Agenda to Screw Your Beaver
Larceny: A Pack of Liberals Stole My Tits
Indecent Exposure: Anthony Weiner and the Liberal Agenda to Tweet Penises to Your Daughter
Sex Crimes: How the Liberal Mob Will Break Into Your House, Take Turns Having Sex with Your Wife, Force You to Wear the Lace Panties, Garter Belt, Black Mesh Stockings, Red Leather Boots, and Dog Color You Got Her For Valentine’s Day, Then Take Pictures of You and Post Them on the Internet
I’m a strong believer in bipartisan politics, and now that Democrat Anthony Weiner has exposed his boehner, it seems only fair that we get to check out Republican John Boehner’s weiner.
And in keeping with bipartisanship, let’s not forget the ladies. If Hillary Clinton were to show us her bush, I think we’d have to demand that Laura Bush gives us a peek at her clinton.