Open Response to Comments

Every once in a while, I’ll wake up to find that the popularity of my blog posts have increased, and I have an inbox full of comments. It’s those mornings that are the brightest for me. Comments are very special, since they show how well I’m engaging with the readers, and they stop me from doing something drastic, rather than just enjoying my lukewarm cup of coffee on a Monday morning. I really do want to make sure that I’m reaching the people, and that all of the thought, and effort is not expended in vain. So, as a treat to the most popular commenters, I’m going to respond to some of their comments I find most intriguing, and really put the spotlight on the reader, because that’s who we’re doing this for, right?


I cherished up to you’ll obtain performed right here. The cartoon is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. however, you command get got an impatience over that you would like be delivering the following. sick certainly come further before once more as exactly the similar just about very continuously within case you shield this hike. – dress to work ( real name withheld due to ongoing legal issues )

Dear dress to work,

Thank you for your wonderful comment, I think I cherished up to you’ll everything performed by you too, by the way. I just wanted to say how attentive you are, finding the secret cartoon in my previous post, most people don’t ever find it, because I draw it really small, but I think you have super zoom vision. Did you understand the punchline of the cartoon? I don’t think many do, but it’s one of those jokes that takes a while to get. I have a feeling some people find it, don’t quite understand it at first, then while they’re driving home from work, they get it, and then get into a horrible car accident from laughing so hard. You’re very special, thank you. A lot of people say that my command does get got on impatience, but I don’t know how how to stop it. Do you have any suggestions? I’m more than willing to drop the get, and just got impatience, but even impatience is not thought of the place of existence just about being sick. Now about shielding this hike, that’s the one part of your comments, I just didn’t understand. If you would be so kind as to clarify, because I don’t even like eating sushi with spoon.

Sincerely Yours,

Kevin Woolery

Just desire to say your article is as surprising. The clarity to your post is just spectacular and i can assume you are knowledgeable in this subject. Fine together with your permission let me to take hold of your RSS feed to stay updated with coming near near post. Thanks 1,000,000 and please continue the gratifying work. – mla style ( obviously a member of the Modern Language Association )

Dear mla style,

It’s always refreshing when a member of the prestigious MLA leaves a comment on one of my posts, because I constantly crave validation from the professionals. Your comment allowed me to see something in myself that I’ve been ignoring for a very long time, that in fact, I am knowledgeable in this subject. I really always wanted to study this subject in college, but you know how parents are, they want you to pursue an education that could actually build the skill set to find a job, not just the whimsical pursuit of knowledge in this subject. As always, feel free to take hold of my RSS feed, my girlfriend has refused to as of late, but I’m more than willing to let anyone hold it. I’m curious if I know you, or if you’ve been reading my notes, because I’ve never mentioned, what I consider to be my greatest post, the near near post. It’s a very personal post to me, and one that not everyone will understand at first, but when they become enlightened to the plight of the near near, they’ll kick themselves for not realizing it sooner. I’d actually like to thank you for reading and commenting, and just to sweeten the stakes, I’m going to thank you 1,000,001, because that’s one extra for good luck.  I’ll stay gratifying.

In Eternal Gratification,

Kevin Woolery

Its such as you learn my thoughts! You appear to grasp a lot approximately this, such as you wrote the e book in it or something. I believe that you simply can do with some percent to power the message home a little bit, however other than that, that is great blog. A great read. I will definitely be back. – Net Branch ( a proud member of )

Dearest Net Branch,

It’s a weird thing about me, and it’s that I do feel dialed into your thoughts. I wake up sometimes sweating, and unable to breathe, and I realize it’s probably me just seeing into your head again. You need to take it easy buddy, or else you’re going to be in trouble soon. Unicorns are cute fictional animals adored by millions, and I don’t think I approve of what you’re wishing to do to them. Maybe, it’s time to lay off the drugs. I don’t want to make this an intervention, but sometimes those closest to you can help. I haven’t announced it yet, but yes, I have wrote an e book in it or something, mostly it’s something, and less of an e book, but the something is going to be a big hit I believe, maybe you could help promote it. It’s actually a photocopied napkin from a bar. I used the napkin to capture all my thoughts on the topic after putting away a few too many, if you know what I mean. I wrote really small, but it was super informative, and I think people will appreciate the new perspective. I’m going to sell it with a magnifying glass, so people can see even the smallest thoughts that I’m trying to convey. I appreciate your honesty, most people just leave comments and blow smoke up my ass, thinking that if they butter me up, I can do something for them, it’s so trite, but your comment has some really good constructive criticism. I’m really going to consider some percent to power the message home a little bit, do you mind if I contact you at during your working hours to discuss? Maybe, we can also talk about my pesky credit score, and how you may be able to repair it.

Finding the Power,

Kevin Woolery

Thank you for allowing me to let you peer into the sacred interaction with the readers. I always appreciate comments, and some of the special ones really make my day. So feel free to leave a comment, and if you’re lucky, I may just include your comment in a future blog post.


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8 thoughts on “Open Response to Comments”

  1. I’m pretty sure I got these morons’ resumes today.
    And I think I will start answering them all with this from now on: The cartoon is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish.

    Keep the humor coming Kev! Us sarcastic bloggers have to stick together ;0)

  2. Okay, first of all, we all get spam. I didn’t mean to imply it was just on your stuff. Second, so far no comments here are spam and third, spam or no spam – it made me giggle. 🙂

    1. Haha, it’s funny that the types of comments I responded to in the post make no sense, they’re not trying to sell anything, but it’s either a bot, or someone who barely understands the english language. I’m curious to know what the end goal of these types of comments are. I guess, once you start getting listed in search results, it’s inevitable that the site is going to get on some list, and the flood gates are opened. These were examples of the comments that don’t actually get posted, but show up for moderation in my inbox. I’m secretly still excited to get them, but don’t tell anyone.

      1. The goal of the spam comments is simple, to get a link to their site. The sites could be anything from porn sites to perfectly legitimate useful sites. They are definately bot generated and don’t even count towards a read on any stat counter.

        We established a comment moderation policy at the very begining and are sticking to it. But the spam bots are very successful, Google the phrase “The cartoon is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish”, use the quotes. You will find the phrase on hundreds of sites. You’ll only find it on HumorOutcasts here and we will continue to keep useless comments off the site.

        1. Thank you, it can get messy without the moderation in place for sure. On a bright note, we’re already number 9 on the search results for that term. Now, if we can get it to be a trending topic.

  3. This was so good. Okay, not that it matters but a lot of comments are spam as I know you know, and if I knew you were going to answer them in such an entertaining and interesting way, I wouldn’t have spammed any of them! Great, great read

    1. Thank you, I really have noticed that my spam comment count is about 9 out of 10 comments, so I figured it was about time to address them directly. I’m curious to find out how many spam comments I get on this post.

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