It’s funny how people change. One day you think they are the nicest people in the world and the next day they are lying to your face justifying their lies and trying to make you believe that their lying is your fault. It’s all some complicated scheme for them to get what they want at everyone else’s expense. Personally, I find this world is filling up with these despicable people.
So, I am petitioning to be appointed head of a new government department called the Office of Liar Annihilators and as my first order of business , I will build a leper colony — well, a liars colony – I don’t want to give lepers a bad name. I will call it Pinocchio’s Liar Island or PLI, ( And yes, those stickers for the back windows of cars will be available) I will have all the liars transported here. And it won’t be a tropical paradise. No, think of it as a cross between Alcatraz and one of those places where Yellow Fever still thrives. Despite the inhospitable atmosphere, PLI will be a heavily populated island especially once I get all the Tea Party people there. After the political liars are re-located, I will sentence everyone from the Hedge Fund CEOs, credit card companies and last but not least, all those cheaters who come into people’s lives, make false promises and exit in a really crappy fashion.
So, what will happen on this island? Well, I would like to think PLI would be a rehabilitation island. First: all the inmates would have to watch videos of all the lies they told. Twenty-four hours of re-living their crimes. Second, they will have to apologize to their victims over and over again via email, telephone and skype; and third they would have to admit that their actions have made them a sub-human species.
Of course, there will be those who are not capable of rehabilitation. Those people who cannot face the fact that they are liars and cheaters and have hurt innocent people, will be sent to a separate compound on the island which will be named Rick Perry’s Bible Camp. In this compound, there will be no rehabilitation because these people have crossed the line of no return. They have lied so much, they have no idea what truth is. The best we can do with this group is to remove them from society and feed them to the sharks which circle the island in search of human-type food made of arrogance and stupidity.
I know that some people might find these punishments excessive, and if you are one of these people, it probably means you do a good amount of lying yourself. I truly believe it’s time to rid the world of the liars and cheaters who corrupt everything they touch all so that their wants and desires are fulfilled.
The first shuttle to the Pinocchio’s Liar Island leaves tomorrow. On that boat we will have the GOP hopefuls, some prominent members of Wall Street and a few chosen relationship liars and cheaters. I am taking applications for the first boat, so anyone who has a liar in their lives that needs rehabilitation, send me an email or message me on Facebook. I think we can work together to make the world a no-lie zone unless of course that lie is to tell me I am not fat; I am the best writer in the world; or I still look 25. If those are your lies, I will love you forever – and that’s the truth.