Powerball, Lake Como and George Clooney: Is This Too Much to Ask? | HumorOutcasts

Powerball, Lake Como and George Clooney: Is This Too Much to Ask?

May 4, 2011
By

I  went into 7-11 to buy a lottery ticket because I am convinced I am destined to win the Powerball jackpot. I know that most people think playing the lottery is a waste of money, but I look at the people who have won this year and I think that if they picked the right numbers, so can I.  I am so convinced of my future wealth that I have a bulletin board in my kitchen displaying the picture of my dream house on Lake Como in Italy that I intend to buy with those winnings.

Italy beckoned to me as it did to every woman who saw the movie, Under the Tuscan Sun.  After that film’s release, it was suddenly in vogue to buy a fixer upper in Tuscanny.  But while my girlfriends and gay men friends soon abandoned their Italian quest– for land anyway–  I stuck with it.

Believe it or not, I have a real estate agent who is ready to pounce on a property when I give her the word.  I won’t be going for the fixer upper though. With my hundreds of millions from the lottery, I can buy a real villa complete with staff and George Clooney as my neighbor. Yes, he has a house on Lake Como and I plan on moving next door to him. I don’t want to marry him, but I would appreciate one or two  rolls in the hay.  I think that is the least he can do for all the money I have spent to see his movies. I have also purchased the Rosetta Stone Italian language course so I am ready to converse with the locals when I make my move overseas.

When I get to Lake Como, I think I shall buy a boat. Nothing too large, but it should be yacht-like. If the George Clooney thing doesn’t work out, I will have to attract other men to my villa, and I have my eyes set on royalty.  One cannot attract  men from the best royal families in Europe with a row boat. No, it has to be a classic  boat that screams, “Look at me Prince, I am available and ready to give you heirs.”

If for any reason the Lake Como thing does not work out, I was thinking Vegas.  I know this plan sounds so North Pole-South Pole from Lake Como, but I do have reasons.  The primary one is that it is a city that understands  Lottery millions. I think it might be a fun place to squander my fortune away. Nothing goes better with gambling winnings than gambling losses.

All these thoughts and plans ran through my brain when I bought that lottery ticket from the 7-11, and you will be happy to know that I won – $7.  Whille it’s not enough to buy a hinge on my window in my Lake Como home, it is enough to buy seven more lottery tickets which will no doubt renew my George Clooney dreams.  And now I must go; it’s  time for my Italian lessons!

Stephanie Queen

I'm a tough chick and I don't like to share my toys. Be afraid.

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7 Responses to Powerball, Lake Como and George Clooney: Is This Too Much to Ask?

  1. August 11, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Im digging your web blog. Seriously, if perhaps My spouse and I received the power ball I believe I’d personally contribute my personal money to a charitable organization, haha efficiently not less than 50 percent from this. I am talking about why not. An absolute small amount of millions of dollars and i’m satisfied, what person requires a large number of million? And that’s just simply selfish lol. Maintain the outstanding blog.

  2. May 5, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    I just read that George Clooney’s girlfriend posed nude for PETA and they didn’t need to do any airbrushing of the pictures before publishing! She also is not interested in children; dogs completely satisfy her maternal instincts. Because of this understanding, they have been together for TWO years! You have your work cut out for you after you get your Lake Como villa. Maybe you should just opt for a hunky personal trainer!

    • Stephanie Queen
      May 5, 2011 at 3:39 pm

      She sounds a bit self-obsessed. But to each his or her own. Good for her that she does not need airbrushing. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t benefit from a little touch up.

  3. lbwoodgate
    May 4, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Be sure to read the fine print at the bottom of each lottery ticket that gives you the phone number for gambling addiction counseling 🙂

    • StephanieQ
      May 4, 2011 at 1:09 pm

      I am not addicted; I am just absolutely positive that I will win the money one day. I just hope I am young enough to enjoy it, but I think it’s coming pretty soon. I feel it, but I am not addicted. 🙂

  4. italiadiva
    May 4, 2011 at 9:30 am

    I’d be happy right now with a co-op in The Bronx. I play the lottery games sometimes, but if I ever win I will probably die of a stroke right on the spot, so it won’t matter anyway.

    • StephanieQ
      May 4, 2011 at 1:10 pm

      No, you won’t die of a stroke! You think you will but then something will come over you and you will probably do a cartwheel right there in the middle of the store where you bought the ticket!



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