They’re doing some renovations where I work and one of the key considerations of the upgrades is to reduce our corporate draw on natural resources – which is an admirable goal that I fully support.
However, crews just finished the “green” updates to the men’s room and they’ve installed new “Water-free Urinals” –note from the picture that there are no pipes or flushing apparatus.
Here’s the link to a single-page sell sheet on this “new” major advancement in waste management.
http://www.sloanvalve.com/Specifications/Waterfree_WES-1000_Urinal.pdf
I’ve highlighted below a prominent feature/benefit of the “Water-Free Urinals” from the sell sheet.
The New Sloan Waterfree Urinal — Preserves our Natural Resources and Saves Costs. Sloan Waterfree Urinals reduce water and sewer costs, maintenance and repair bills, and create more hygienic,odor-free restrooms. A Patented, Sealed Cartridge eliminates the need for water, conserving 40,000 gallons per unit per year…and the Cartridge is engineered for 7,000 uses.
Like I said, I appreciate the need to conserve natural resources and I’m glad my employer is doing its part; however, let’s not be so politically-correct as to call a waterless trough “New.” The fact is, peeing without water has been around since man could stand erect – (figuratively speaking) and recognized the Great Outdoors doubled as the Great Outhouse. Males of all species have been marking their territory for millennia without the luxury of an H20 chaser.
But my major issue with the waterfree urinal has to deal with cleanliness. Granted, most men’s rooms are rank and vile from the parade of rank-and-file men who tend to be so task orientated – as to relieving their inner bladder pressure – that most things such as urinal accuracy and flushing become secondary imperatives. So cleanliness is important.
While the newly redesigned bathrooms don’t currently smell – ironically consistent with the aforementioned ad copy from the urinal manufacturer – does a waterfree urinal really “…create more HYGIENIC…” restrooms as Sloan alleges? Somehow stagnant, undiluted urea and bacteria is magically more hygienic than a flushing commode? Is there a Sloan Urinal Fairy that appears and waves his “magic wand” – (figuratively speaking) – over the unflushed pool of yellowish fluid to transubstantiate it into spring water?
These are vexing questions, and I was forced again to rely on Sloan’s PR pablum. If you look a bit further down the company’s propaganda sell sheet you’ll find this text in a box regarding the question of cleanliness.
MAINTENANCE AND CLEANING
• Perform cleaning once a day, or as needed
• Remove any litter in the bowl and clear cartridge drain slots
• Use mild disinfectant cleaner on a cloth to wipe the bowl
• DO NOT use aggressive/concentrated detergents or any other chemicals
• DO NOT dispose of water into the urinal
It’s that last bit that gets me – DO NOT pour water into the urinal! Huh?
The thing is engineered to handle 7,000 pints of urine down it – but NOT water to clean it out?
Call me old-fashioned but I prefer urinals that flush, if for no other reason than to let everyone who might be waiting in line to use it, know that you’re wrapping things up – (figuratively speaking).
One day, I expect to be sitting in my Rocking-Less Chair, sipping Coffee-Free Coffee telling my grandkids about the good ole’ days when I was a kid – when we had flushing urinals.
Question: What “new” advancement in technology or your life could you do without?
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Tor Constantino is a former journalist and current PR guy who lives near Washington, DC. He has worked for Fortune 500 companies, CBS Radio, Clear Channel Radio, ABC-TV and CBS-TV affiliates. He has authored his first non-fiction book “A Question of Faith” and he blogs regularly at The Daily ReTORt.
We just pee behind the barn. 😉
That’s how nature intended it Deb!
Oh boy. I remember reading this ages ago on your blog. I laughed then as much as I did today. Honestly, I think this post is hillarious, and is made in good humor. I would like to expand on a thought from a commenter above. As an ex-journalist like Tor, or as blogger as myself, ANYONE should be able to write out a thought, or share an opinion on a product with the information given. If I were to see that advertised, and went to the website, and that’s all the information I had to go on, well – I’d make a similar post. People – Tor, myself, whomever – are entitled to their opinions, regardless on how they draw their conclusions. Glad I don’t have to deal with urinals! (Oh, since I am a woman, don’t use them, and thus have limited knowledge – should I not post or have an opinion? Just thinking out loud!) Tor – thanks again for the laughs.
Thanks Laura! Like I wrote in the post, I’m all for “green” initiatives that reduce, renew and recycle – especially when it comes to recycling my tired old comedy to a completely new audience.
I thought journalists are supposed to seek out facts on a topic before writing? It is obvious that you didn’t think to contact anyone with any knowledge about these products before writing this post. Perhaps the next time you decide to express disdain for “new” technology you may want to learn a bit more about it first. All you have done by writing this post is made it perfectly clear that all you did was read information on a website and don’t understand how waterless urinals work. Incidentally, if you use a waterless urinal you will save approximately 500 gallons of water per person per year.
With proper maintenance waterless urinals do an excellent job of disposing of urine. They do not, however, do a good job of disposing of gum, cigarette butts, or chew. So there is some potential additional maintenance there. The cartridge in the bottom of the urinal is designed to accept a trickle of urine, not a slug of water, it shortens the life of the cartridge (maintenance people sometimes dump mop buckets down the urinals resulting in the cartridge having to be replaced prematurely).
I find it interesting that you have taken the time to complain about something that hasn’t given you any problems yet. Flushing urinals tend to stink because lazy people don’t flush them. With waterless urinals lazy non-flushers are taken out of the equation. There is nothing “ironic” about the new restroom not stinking, the waterless urinals work! I suggest you wait until you have an issue with the new urinal before expounding about how much you miss the old flushing urinal. Until then, I suggest you go to the bathroom, urinate, wash your hands and go on about your day.
Wow Matt, you’re very knowledgeable – how long have you worked for Sloan?
By the way – this is a site intended for “humorous” writing. Granted this particular piece of mine might not have been the funniest post ever written, but it was clearly crafted in a satirical tone intended as entertainment only. It was in no way written as a factual story….
Matt, while I appreciate your allegiance to these products and I guess you must design them, this is a humor site – I can attest to this since I founded it. Posts here are meant to make people chuckle. Remember – sense of humor? If you re-read the post, you will see the many humorous aspects and appreciate the talent of Tor. Let me also say, that I have also poked fun at new technology and have heard from several company presidents who not only wrote to laugh out loud, but took the humor pieces to place in their company newsletters. Their theory on humor is that it brings wonderful notice to their products.
I’ve always heard that urine is “sterile”. I’ve also always suspected that people are “liars”.
Eric, I agree that sterile urine is a bit of a mystery. I’m no chemist but I’ve heard that fact more than once as well. Still, I wouldn’t want to drink it….
I was not aware of all the technology upgrades in men’s rooms. Okay, I don’t visit them often, but wow. So, how does the urinal distinguish – you know – urine from water if you are not supposed to put water in there? I wonder what kind of engineer designs this? Very funny and interesting. 🙂
Thanks Donna – apparently not everyone who read it thought it was funny even though that was clearly my intent.
Tor,
You got me curious so I went to the link you provided and saw that these Sloan toilets use “Falcon Waterfree” technology. So I went to the Falcon site to see what they had to say. Here is how they say their technology makes for a cleaner restroom:
Lower bacteria levels
Without flushing water, there are no bacteria-spreading flush plumes with waterless urinals. This means that the area around waterfree urinals is cleaner.
No plumbing emergencies
Because waterfree urinals are impossible to clog or flood, plumbing and cleanup emergencies are also eliminated.
Cleaner restrooms
Cleaning is also faster as there is no need to scrub minerals left behind by water. Cleaner restrooms are less costly to maintain and much more hygienic.
Hmmm…I’ve often noted that nasty build-up of minerals left behind by water. 🙂
I’d offer some technology I could do without but I don’t think I can top yours. 🙂
Hey Ted, I think you make some great points – and as I said, I’m not averse to new technology and I think waterfree urinals are the future. I can tell by your tone that you caught the appropriate tongue-in-check nature of my post – thanks for that!
No problem Tor, silly me I was looking for humor here. I don’t usually confuse HumorOutcasts.com with CNN.com. 🙂
If however I was looking for a journalistic write-up on this “waterless” technology I’d be looking for what it costs. It “saves” water that the earth has been recycling on its own for thousands of years so what does this savings cost? What chemicals are used in this “patented” technology? How are these cartridges disposed of? How long is the earth burdened with waste materials associated with this savings? Asbestos was a marvelous flame-proof technology that did exactly what it promised unfortunately it proved to be highly cancer causing for it workers and users. So if I were looking for a journalistic write-up that is what I’d expect to see. Since I was looking for humor I thought your article was great, some other time I might seek out a journalistic article on the topic to answer some of those other questions. 🙂