Sarah Palin Loves Jews

For a long-suffering people, it seems that Jews are experiencing a resurgence in popularity, due mainly, it seems, to Tea Party and evangelical Christians. Why is this? For a group who takes such serious issue with Harry Potter, what is with their Jewish booster club these days? To celebrate a people who deny their beloved savior, no less?

Well, it seems that according to something in the bible…the Jews, or at least a good number of them, need to be living in the “Holy Land” for Jesus to make an encore performance. And God, Jesus, whoever, is too busy wiping people out with tsunamis and earthquakes because there are too many gays in the world… to be able to make this all work out by himself. He needs people like Sarah Palin to do this for him, I guess. Why is this not helping God’s case for omnipotency? And if Israel gives up some land to the Palestinians, the deal is off, and Jesus will sulk in his dressing room and there will be no raptury goodness.

But if, through the good work of Sarah Palin (she doesn’t go anywhere without her Star-of-David necklace!) and friends, their favorite people in the whole wide world, the Israelis, refuse to give any land to those dirty Arabs in keeping with God’s plan…he will rejoice like Van Halen with a bowl of brownless M&Ms, jump down from the heavens, and annihilate every fucking one of those Jewish bastards.

So, are Jews really feeling this love from evangelicals? When it appears that the evangelicals really care for the Jews…it’s really only in the way that the main cast of Star Trek loved its red-shirted crew mates. It’s basically like being in an Andes plane crash and wanting some delicious company or being involved in an accident at sea and wanting Jews to climb aboard your life raft so you can toss them to the sharks in the event of a raft puncture.

Keep your friends close…enemies even closer, I suppose.