Last Tuesday evening my midget friend (Roger) and I went down to that new bar that just opened on Oak Street, named the “Liver–B-Gone”. The pub used to be called “The Evil People” until the board of health shut it down after several of the Evil patrons got deathly sick from salmonella poisoning. Now the new Liver-B-Gone only serves cheap booze and, quite frankly, cheap booze is right up our alley.
While sitting at the bar, we met a one-legged man crying in his beer because he just lost his job. When I ask him where he had worked, he said he ran the BBQ on Grant Street but after losing his leg in a motorcycle accident, the owners of the BBQ let him go.
We were talking about how tough the economy was and how hard it was to keep ahead of the bills lately. Then the one legged man suggested that I could take over running the BBQ where he had worked. Apparently the owner was still looking for a two legged replacement.
He said the work was easy as he only had to work 2-3 times a week for just a couple of hours a day. He also said that the pay was great for the amount of time he had to put in.
As the one legged man hobbled off to the restroom, I asked the barmaid where the BBQ up on Grant St is? That’s when she busted out laughing and said, “Oh, That Stumpy! He operated the crematory next to the funeral home. Poor bastard loved his work too, ha ha ha!”
When Stumpy returned to the bar he began talking about how he was thinking about suing the owner of the crematory for defamation of character, and he wondered if I knew a good attorney.
I told Stumpy I had a good attorney, and I would be more than happy to give him his phone number, but quite honestly as far as the law suit is concerned, I did not think he had a leg to stand on.