Be Vigilant Against Sleeper Cells | HumorOutcasts

Be Vigilant Against Sleeper Cells

May 13, 2011

Just because the professed head of a diabolical group is taken down, this does not mean that the group itself dies. Unfettered, its evil mission can continue to be carried out by his agents and foot soldiers, even right here in America. Yes, even though the author of “Presidents You Need to Hate” is no longer going to be the mouthpiece of a movement, there are still many pockets of sleeper cells that he spawned, stretched throughout our own country. Most of these agents were born in America and are hiding in plain sight. This makes them all the more dangerous. While these pockets can be figuratively described as “sleeper cells”, the agents in question can literally be found many times sleeping. Usually on the recliner or couch after Thanksgiving dinner. Sinister though they may be, they frequently operate under such unsuspecting names as “Grandpa” or “Uncle Ray”. Often, they can be defeated by simply editing out a channel or two from your cable program guide. They will most likely just curse and blame the federal government for tyrannical “sensership”. But only then can they be rehabilitated and integrated back into peaceful society.

Remember to be vigilant. Ignorance doesn’t die with Glenn Beck.

Eric Hetvile

Wanted in 14 states. But those states suck, anyway.

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6 Responses to Be Vigilant Against Sleeper Cells

  1. May 14, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    Don’t bad-mouth Glenn Beck. Without him we would not be able top define ignorance for those who need visual aids to comprehend its meaning.

  2. May 14, 2011 at 1:41 am

    I keep telling my wife I’m a foreign spy, and I married her as a cover. She isn’t buying it.

  3. May 13, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    I thought maybe “sleeper cells” were cell phones that called you when it was time for you to do your part, and let you sleep the rest of the time. We must be ever vigilant for the “terrorists-in-waiting” all around us! I visited the Alfred P. Murrah Building Memorial in Oklahoma City recently and it was a reminder of home-grown, non-Islamic radicals that want to hurt our country’s government and its people.

  4. May 13, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    Very good one Eric. Oh my God, those agents sound like my relatives at Thanksgiving. For the good of the country, should I shoot them or just hope they come back to their senses? I will abide by your advice.

    • May 13, 2011 at 7:31 pm

      Well, I’d never want to advocate shooting relatives. But on the other hand, you do love America, don’t you?

  5. jack_sass
    May 13, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    I think my cat is in a sleep cell; he sleeps 23 hours a day and terrorizes me at night! I’m serious damn it! Osama Bin Kitty is alive I tells ya!

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