Some of the Funniest Facebook Status Lines

Yup, there are websites for almost EVERYthing! Ever wonder what other people write as their Facebook status? You’ve seen some funny ones from your friends, but what about all of the other members? Below find some funny lines taken from Facebook statuses all over the world.

(Quote un-Quote – so spelling is as how the person posted it on their page)

thinks everything looks like a Mexican soap opera

Do cats burp?

decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire

When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?

X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house

Dear Santa, let me explain…

If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.

I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos

I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!

a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? A snIckers bar has nuts.

Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like

Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?

Muslim or not, boy or girl, teenagers should wear burkas when they go through their awkward stage. I don’t want to have to see that.

The bad news is we don’t have any ice cream in the house. The good news is I just ate a pint of ice cream.

How long do I have to wave my dick around at this ballgame before they put me on the Jumbotron?

Last year, I deducted 10, 697 cartons of cigarettes as a business expense. The tax man said, “Don’t ever let us catch you without a cigarette in your hand.”

Dear whoever sits next to me on the bus to Grand Rapids tomorrow, you’re not being Punk’d. I really do just fart that much.

Ugh I hate airports. The men’s bathroom here doesn’t have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming. Lame.

“so and so” Says if a turtle loses his shell is he naked or homeless??

“so and so” Says a clean house is the sign of a broken computer.