Tebow Arguments Could Fill Stadium | HumorOutcasts

Tebow Arguments Could Fill Stadium

December 11, 2011
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TEBOW ARGUMENTS COULD FILL STADIUM

“A lot of people wear Superman pajamas but Chuck Norris wears Tim Tebow pajamas.”
“Tim Tebow CAN believe it’s not butter.”
“Cars look both ways when Tim Tebow crosses the street.”
“You can lead a horse to water, but Tim Tebow can make him drink.”

The above four lines are jokes, Tim Tebow jokes to be exact. Several hundred of these exaggeration jokes exist, and are told by his fans, usually with a wink and tongue planted firmly in cheek. Tim Tebow fans have stolen all the Chuck Norris jokes. If anything, the first joke proves that. Still, the guy is the most polarizing player in the NFL. Those who love him, worship him. Those who hate him, really hate him. And the surprising thing, many of the doubters and the haters are in Denver.

Yes, the guy won six out his last seven, many of the games won ugly on last second drives yet the doubters still mount. Count among the doubters, Tim Kiszla, Denver Post columnist who called Tebow “Right here, right now, the worst quarterback in the NFL.” This was immediately after the Detroit Lions dismantled the Broncos 45-10. The 56.8 passer rating didn’t help. Defensive players on the Lions called Tebow “a joke.”

Gosh, anything more than that would be piling on. Surely, nobody else from Denver would jump on the pile. Oh wait, there is this by John Elway: “Three for 13 on third down won’t get it. We’ve got to get better in the passing game. We may still draft a quarterback.” It seems John Elway, the president of the Broncos, is also piling on maybe it’ll be something he’ll add to one his motivational speeches (from somewhere like https://www.playingfieldpromotions.com/John-Elway.php) . This is where it gets strange, as it does with most things concerning Timmy. Another Denver columnist, Mike Litwinn, noticed tepid Elway applause tepidly during a Tebow comeback. Litwinn interpreted the Elway applause was perhaps forced due to cameras aimed his way assuming Elway to be thinking “Oh, great, now I’m stuck with this guy forever.”
TEBOW ARGUMENTS COULD FILL STADIUM by                         Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons                         articles
Tebow moves in mysterious ways. He’s won six out of seven starts mostly in games where Denver scored less than 20 points. However, this past Sunday, he won a shootout against Minnesota – 35-32 –producing a decent passer rating completing 10 of 15 for 2 TDs and 202 yards. Maybe he’s learning, improving, maybe enough to get ESPN commentator Merril Hoge off his back. Do you think? Will Hoge endorse Tebow for president?

In case you’ve been in Timbukto or have a life, Merril Hoge has made Tim Tebow his bashing project this season. Hoge bet his reputation on the big Tebow failure of 2011, so even when Tim responds with yet another comeback win, Hoge doubles down on the badness of Tebow. In biblical prediction terms, Merril Hoge is the Harold Camping of football analysts. Tebow may indeed cause the rapture, if by rapture we mean the off-the-earth floating of Merril Hoge’s career. In any case if you wander into our Pundit’s Diner you’ll always find Hoge sitting in the “Tebow Sucks” section, even if he sits alone.

We’re not sure Tebow will ever be an NFL passer although he is definitely an NFL competitor. We also doubt Merril Hoge ever comes around, being the same guy who called Aaron Rodgers a “wasted draft pick.” I guess, just like “end-of-the-world” prognosticator Harold Camping, when you’re way out on that limb with your belief or prediction what does it hurt to double down.

Stan Silliman

Sports writer for 13 years, my Bleacher Report articles in USA Today, LA Times, Forbes, Dallas Morning News. Seven books, 6000 jokes, 860 columns written. Also very active on a website called Kwipster. I've writtens for comics and cartoonists. Samples of some of my cartoon/humor books can be seen at www.comedyempirepress.com I'm also a comedian with regular appearances in New York, Dallas, Austin, Oklahoma City and Las Vegas. If I ever get on cruise ships, I'll let you know.

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4 Responses to Tebow Arguments Could Fill Stadium

  1. December 12, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    If it is something supernatural, I’m going with the guy down under. Maybe he is knocking out the competition too.

  2. December 12, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    Well you have to go back game by game to see the typical pattern. In every game Denver runs into an opponent with a key player missing. Minnesota without Peterson and the Bears without Cutler. Could be some divine intervention at work, here.

  3. December 12, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    Tebow is not stellar, yet Merril Hoge is an idiot. Something’s gotta give.

  4. Elizabeth Dickinson
    December 11, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    I cannot figure him out, but he keeps winning! Great post!



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