Tebowner

Tim Tebow was taken much higher in last year’s NFL draft than expected, by a team who wasn’t supposed to be in desperate need of a quarterback. Now, his jersey is the top selling jersey in the league, even though the coach who pushed for his drafting was, interestingly enough, fired. But people who I know do not even watch sports are singing his praises. What gives?

Well, one could not watch a Florida Gators game over the last several years without the announcers verbally going down on Tebow. I know he writes bible verses on his eye black, but we know that doesn’t prove anything. Well, it might prove that he’s a bit annoying. But, by most accounts, he’s a good guy. So a while back I figured I’d search around and see just what this kid has been up to.

It’s been mentioned many times on TV that he’s been on some missions to the Philippines. Was he taking on dangerous terrorist cells? Was he retrieving a lost idol from a booby-trapped cave? Did he team up with Ving Rhames and Tom Cruise? No, it turns out that they don’t get along. But, I didn’t know the Philippines were that dangerous.

It turns out that a mission is not really what I thought it was. This kind of mission locates desperate people in impoverished conditions and… Gives them food? Teaches them how to run a business? Educates them about science and technology? No. This particular mission, and he chose to accept it, was to cut kids’ foreskin off of their penis. Is that really their most pressing medical need to date? Too much foreskin? Really? Not hunger or other results of inescapable poverty? But it turns out that not only do they remove the foreskin, but they also inscribe inspirational messages and bible citations while they’re down there. Some lucky kids got “Job”, but other poor kids got “Thessalonians”.

All of these TV announcers went on and on about how great Tim Tebow is, because he gave kids circumcisions. And not one of them stopped to ask the question “Why?”.

“The first time, it was nerve-racking,” said Tebow. “Hands were shaking a little bit. I mean, I’m cutting somebody. You can’t do those kinds of things in the United States. But those people really needed the surgeries. We needed to help them.”

Why did they NEED the surgeries? I am pretty sure the latest studies have concluded that there’s little to no medical benefit to be gained by circumcision. And that’s in a nation with trained physicians and Lysol. There’s a good reason that he’s not allowed to do circumcisions in the U.S. He doesn’t have the proper license, and more importantly, he might not be able to see through his tears.

I guess if you come up on an unfortunate group, they’ll actually listen because you might be bringing them some useful stuff. Stand on a street corner in Manhattan and offer free circumcisions by untrained physicians, and you’re likely to get part of your own penis ripped off.

Source: http://www.govolsxtra.com/news/2008/may/15/tebow-helps-circumcise-impoverished-children-phili/