It’s that time of the year again – the season that is supposed to bring out the best in us, but often does just the opposite. The following is a brief list of people who do their best to make the holiday season as excruciating as possible.
Whoever Invented the Term “Black Friday”
Calling a day “Black Friday” and encouraging people to shop on that day automatically encourages the sociopaths among us to go out and do their worst. Just consider for a moment. The Day After Thanksgiving is the day you sit at home recovering from overeating the day before and pick on the leftover turkey in the fridge. Black Friday is the day you form a mob and turn your local Walmart into a war zone. I rest my case.
This brings me to:
The People Who Turn Walmart Into a War Zone
It isn’t necessary to kill, maim and traumatize people in order to do your Christmas shopping. That’s why God created the Internet and online shopping. You can sit quietly at home in front of your computer, press some keys and viola! You have presents for everybody, you probably found some good deals, and no humans were hurt in the making of your family’s Christmas haul. (If you don’t have a computer or a credit card, you will just have to wear riot gear to Walmart and hope for the best.) Oh, and your kids will still be alive the day after Christmas, even if you didn’t manage to get them the latest version of their favorite video game. It’s that old lesson: “You can’t always get what you want.” People have been knocked over the head with that one since Adam and Eve were thrown out of Eden and started having kids.
Now for some of my pet annoyances:
People Who Gripe About the Holidays
You know who I mean. These are the people who are always saying things like, “I’ll be glad when the holidays are over,” and “Christmas is just for the kids.” Well, if you are determined to be miserable, you will be, no matter what. Go ahead and be miserable, if it makes you feel better. But I don’t want to hear your complaints. In fact, if you do or say anything to throw a wet blanket over MY Christmas, I will personally drown you in pudding with a sprig of holly through your heart. Yes, I stole that idea from Scrooge himself. I believe in using the enemy’s own weapons against them.
Shoppers Who Crowd Rush Hour Subways or Buses Carrying Huge Shopping Bags Full of Stuff
Okay. Even during the Christmas season, people are trying to get home from work between the hours of 4:30 and 6:30. This is not a good time to pile onto the train or bus with two big department store bags, especially if you also have a couple of toddlers with you. You will earn the undying hatred of your fellow passengers, and you might hear some words you would rather not hear during the Season of Good Will. Either get your shopping done earlier, or wait until later.
This is not a comprehensive list by any means. Some people can be pretty creative about ruining the holidays for everyone. This is a start, though. If you have any other ideas, please feel free to post them in the comments section.
Black Friday could be called “Black-eye Friday.” Yikes!
Hehe! Good one!
I too think that the concept of Black Friday is stupid and it encourages mob behavior. I primarily hate Black Friday because so many dumb asses are truly attuned to the belief that their getting over on big businesses, but they’re not because those businesses that participate in Black Friday will always set the prices so that they’re making a profit. Actually, big businesses generate even more revenue on Black Friday since they sell so many products in such a short period of time. In the end, a business’s purpose is to make a profit, yet so many people lose sight of that.
Yes. Businesses count on huge numbers of customers on Black Friday. Unfortunately, some customers are more barbaric than others. The woman who pepper-sprayed her fellow Walmart customers just so she could get to the “bargains” first is a good example. She got away, too!
Nice to see a photo Kathy! Beautiful!!!
Thanks. I finally took the time to figure out how to put it there.