Jill Y and I were comparing escalator stories to see who could come up with the worst one. I was telling her about the time I saw Paris Hilton on an escalator. As soon as I set eyes on the great purveyor of knowledge, I picked up the nearest Bon Jovi fan and with precise precision, aimed it at her. At that precise moment, the elevator stopped and I completely missed. It hurt to be so close and yet so far and the Bon Jovi fan also remembers the pain involved.
Jill Y fearfully remembers the time she was on an elevator and nothing happened and when I say nothing happened, I mean nothing happened. She still has nightmares about that horrible moment and one day, with professional help, she hopes to be able to move on.
Roland Washington probably has the worst elevator story of all time. What you are about to read may be hard to take so if you have a weak stomach, I suggest you look away now:
