Unrapture Me

Millions of rapture-ready Christians remain puzzled as the rapture date came and went with no sign of Jesus.
Harold Camping has come out, however, and pointed out that a simple math error was to blame for the non-rapture.

“Well, see, I’m an engineer, and engineers don’t use calculators. That would be like a doctor reading “Surgery for Dummies” or Sarah Palin reading “Being a Dummy for Dummies”. I use pencil and paper like any real engineer. With no girlie eraser, either. Anyway, it turns out that I forgot the carry a one. I always mess up some mundane detail! But next year for sure. Check our website for the updates and be sure to get your all of your official Rapture merchandise there.”

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7 thoughts on “Unrapture Me”

  1. It’s a real shame that we can’t get rid of a bunch of crazy people this easily! Is it too late to order my Rapture T-shirt: “I was at the Rapture, but all I got was this T-shirt!

    1. Damn it, Mike! You should have come to me earlier with this idea. It’s genius! We could have been partners! (But if the rapture had actually happened, we’d be out a ton of cash. And be burning in hell too, maybe)

  2. Actually, he was only an engineer for a train, and it was a “HO” scale train at that.

  3. He was wrong the last time he made a prediction, but some people still believe him. P.T. Barnum was right. There is a sucker born every minute.

  4. “But next year for sure”. HA! Let’s assume May 21st, 2012 has gone and passed. Will Camping say the following year or the year after? Harold Camping is a total bullshitter. The “End of the World” or “End of Days” do not exist and will not until our Sun will go into its Red Giant stage, which will not be for a good few million years, and by then I’m sure we will have found a new planet to live on.

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