Unrapture Me | HumorOutcasts

Unrapture Me

May 21, 2011

Millions of rapture-ready Christians remain puzzled as the rapture date came and went with no sign of Jesus.
Harold Camping has come out, however, and pointed out that a simple math error was to blame for the non-rapture.

“Well, see, I’m an engineer, and engineers don’t use calculators. That would be like a doctor reading “Surgery for Dummies” or Sarah Palin reading “Being a Dummy for Dummies”. I use pencil and paper like any real engineer. With no girlie eraser, either. Anyway, it turns out that I forgot the carry a one. I always mess up some mundane detail! But next year for sure. Check our website for the updates and be sure to get your all of your official Rapture merchandise there.”

Eric Hetvile

Wanted in 14 states. But those states suck, anyway.

More Posts - Website - Twitter

Share this Post:

7 Responses to Unrapture Me

  1. May 22, 2011 at 10:11 am

    It’s a real shame that we can’t get rid of a bunch of crazy people this easily! Is it too late to order my Rapture T-shirt: “I was at the Rapture, but all I got was this T-shirt!

    • May 22, 2011 at 11:32 am

      Damn it, Mike! You should have come to me earlier with this idea. It’s genius! We could have been partners! (But if the rapture had actually happened, we’d be out a ton of cash. And be burning in hell too, maybe)

  2. Jack Sass
    May 21, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    Actually, he was only an engineer for a train, and it was a “HO” scale train at that.

  3. May 21, 2011 at 5:38 pm

    And people are still paying attention to this scooter pie exactly why????

  4. May 21, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    They will believe his excuse for the rapture not happening, and they will continue to follow him out of fear. That is how all religion operates.

  5. Kathy Minicozzi
    May 21, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    He was wrong the last time he made a prediction, but some people still believe him. P.T. Barnum was right. There is a sucker born every minute.

  6. May 21, 2011 at 10:45 am

    “But next year for sure”. HA! Let’s assume May 21st, 2012 has gone and passed. Will Camping say the following year or the year after? Harold Camping is a total bullshitter. The “End of the World” or “End of Days” do not exist and will not until our Sun will go into its Red Giant stage, which will not be for a good few million years, and by then I’m sure we will have found a new planet to live on.

User Login

New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle

New Release
Maybe Kevin
By Brian Kiley and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle

New Release
Daddy duJour
By Barbara Hammond and Shorehouse Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle