Millions of rapture-ready Christians remain puzzled as the rapture date came and went with no sign of Jesus.
Harold Camping has come out, however, and pointed out that a simple math error was to blame for the non-rapture.
“Well, see, I’m an engineer, and engineers don’t use calculators. That would be like a doctor reading “Surgery for Dummies” or Sarah Palin reading “Being a Dummy for Dummies”. I use pencil and paper like any real engineer. With no girlie eraser, either. Anyway, it turns out that I forgot the carry a one. I always mess up some mundane detail! But next year for sure. Check our website for the updates and be sure to get your all of your official Rapture merchandise there.”