Verizon’s New iPhone Commercials | HumorOutcasts

Verizon’s New iPhone Commercials

May 13, 2011

Have you seen Apple’s recent commercial with Verizon for the iPhone? I think they must be doing crack in those advertising meetings. These advertisements are pretentious, assuming and rather rude. They are basically saying that if you do not own an iphone… then what is wrong with you and what are you waiting for??

So why tiptoe around the issues folks in those ad meetings? Verizon needs to say what is really on their mind. I have come up with a few suggestions:

If you do not have an iPhone, I hate you.

If you do not have an iPhone, you are dead to me.

If you do not have an iPhone someone in your family will die soon.

If you do not have an iPhone than you have a greater risk of Cancer.

If you do not have an iPhone I am gonna kick your ass, fucking mindless consumer American.

Get a better job, get a better life, THEN get an iPhone!

Every time I fucked your mother she told me how you didn’t have an iPhone.

Fuck you, Get an iPhone.

FaceTime or Palm to Face… Your choice.

P.S. This is a parody. I love my iPhone.

Jason Escape

I escape from things and I help people. I write about these things and other stuff.

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6 Responses to Verizon’s New iPhone Commercials

  1. jack_sass
    May 14, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    iPhones, iPads, iTunes, iMacs, iBooks, iDon’t-think-so. 😛

  2. May 14, 2011 at 12:47 am

    No iPhone for me. Happy with what I have, and no guilt trip advertising is going to change my mind.

  3. May 14, 2011 at 12:03 am

    I think I can continue to hold out.

    • May 14, 2011 at 12:04 am

      Despite the obvious shame.

  4. May 13, 2011 at 9:13 pm

    Love it, Jason!!

    I do not have an iPhone. So…. *crosses arms and scowls at you*

    Can’t wait to see more of your stuff here! 😉

    • Jason Escape
      May 13, 2011 at 9:19 pm

      Thank you. I look forward to posting. 🙂 Fun ahead!

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