Believing that Harold Camping is of sound mind and sorely misunderstood by the rest of the world I have taken a leap of faith and resolved some needed issues here before I am carried away. I think we need to have a cleansing of the soul before we meet our Maker. If it’s good enough for Kirk Cameron it’s good enough for me.
- I told my part time employer at Wal-Mart that he’s a pervert and would burn in fires of hell.
- Told my parish priest the same thing.
- Told my wife I often thought of Ann-Margaret when we had sex.
- Told my neighbors what yahoos they were for supporting Sarah Palin.
- Informed my Pharmacists that I forged my sleeping pills Rx.
- Informed Rick Perry that it was I who sent him a picture of my bare ass.
- Asked forgiveness of the local Republican Headquarters office for spray painting swastikas on their office windows.
- Looked up my high school math teacher and confessed that I had set the fire to the bag of dog feces on his front porch as a youth. Feces that resulted from feeding my dog a healthy portion of biscuits and gravy.
- Confessed that I was stoned when I stated that I had found Jesus to the Mormon proselytizers.
- Cancelled my order for 300 pizzas to be delivered to Harold Campings Family Radio Worldwide studio tomorrow.
You don’t think I have acted in haste do you?