When Can I Get Medical Marijuana? | HumorOutcasts

When Can I Get Medical Marijuana?

May 4, 2011
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Last week, I had breakfast with one of my best friends. I had not seen or heard from her in about a month, so I was a bit concerned about her. She has health issues, so sometimes my “friend alarm” goes off, and until I see her, I cannot relax.

We met at our favorite diner, and as it turned out she did have a few tough weeks, but she was anxious to get caught up. As we downed muffins, bagels, and about 18 cups of coffee each, we talked about husbands, kids, how the economy is murdering our small businesses and the stresses that go along with that. Then, we somehow got onto the subject of medical marijuana.

You would think that I would remember how we segued into this topic, but honestly, I cannot. I think we were talking about her love of wine, my love of a nip of Jack Daniels before bed and state politics, and somehow the conversation turned to the possibility that Pennsylvania, yes, the state that took ten years to ban smoking in restaurants, might legalize pot for medicinal purposes. Allow me to say that both my friend and I are all for it.

I would be eligible for this pot. I won’t go into why but I would be eligible. Honestly, my friend and I like the idea of smoking pot for our aches and pains (Who wouldn’t?), but we have several questions on the whole medicinal marijuana thing. In what form does the pot come? Does it come as a powder so I can put it in brownies or sprinkle it on my salad? Do I have to grow it on my own or do I get pre-rolled doobies? I am hoping it is pre-packaged pot because I am not a good plant person. I kill silk flowers; so, I don’t think my future health should depend on my horticultural skills — or rather — lack of them. I knew about a few places where you can get products from curaleaf florida, but I had no idea what form they actually came in!

And if we do not have to grow our own pot, then who fills the prescription? Do I have to go on a street corner somewhere and announce my need for pot? Will these dealers honor my insurance co-pay? Do insurance companies have local dealers in some kind of (HMO) network? Do I have to pay more if I go out of network and opt to support the neighborhood purveyor of weed? Is there such thing as generic pot, and if there is generic pot, is it cheaper or less potent? If I am going to smoke dope, I want good stuff. What am I going to tell my parents? Can they still ground me? Do I have to carry my prescription around with me to show I am entitled in case I am pulled over by a cop? Can I smoke it at the next Tom Petty concert? Oh my God, my head was just reeling with marijuana questions!

Anyway, all this talk about medicinal pot took us back to our college days. Okay, my friend had more experience with pot than me, but she was at the tail end of the hippie generation as she likes to tell me often. When I was at college, I never really had to smoke pot because my next door neighbor in my dorm used weed literally as an air freshener. He had something lit 24/7. My roommate and I would just walk out into the hallway and get high. Those four years were the most relaxing four years of my life.

So, do we have reservations on medicinal pot? No, I guess medicine is medicine. We are glad our children are grown so we do not have to deal with the whole “Just say no” argument. I have to say that I am not sure if it will help with our various issues, but we are willing to be part of a trial group. We are willing to put ourselves on the line for the good of all those around us. Yes, we will smoke your doobies if it means that others will no longer have pain! God, we are just too selfless for our own good. Light ‘em up, we are ready.

photo by wendygail91

Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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10 Responses to When Can I Get Medical Marijuana?

  1. May 6, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    Honest to goodness, I know someone who just took a pot pill that was prescribed to her. So it DOES come in pill form, apparently. She’s in treatment for leukemia right now, so for her, it was supposed to reduce her nausea and increase her appetite. She said it did make her nausea go away, but she woke up feeling fuzzy-headed.

    • May 6, 2011 at 11:21 pm

      Really? Well, since I live in a constant state of fuzzy-headedness, I think it might bring things more into focus. How about that theory? 🙂

  2. Deb Martin-Webster
    May 5, 2011 at 9:23 am

    Health care schmelth care! I agree with LB a nice bottle of red wine, white sandy beaches and purre Acapulco gold! It’ll cure what ails ya’!

  3. lbwoodgate
    May 4, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    Sunsets, a bottle of brew and a doobie would be part of my health plan if Texas made medicinal marijuana legal. But Sarah Palin will support Universal health care before that’s going to happen here.

    • May 4, 2011 at 8:57 pm

      Well, PA is not far behind you guys. Remember, we are the state that spawned Santorum.

  4. Mayor Lund
    May 4, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Miss, I’ve read some of your work. The last thing you need is more drugs!

    • May 4, 2011 at 5:33 pm

      On the contrary Mayor Lund, I think the drugs can only help my writing!

  5. May 4, 2011 at 5:13 pm

    LOL! you crack me up Donna! I’m all for the medical maijuana…I’m passing this one on!

    • May 4, 2011 at 5:33 pm

      Thanks Candice! Maybe in a few months I will let you know if the law took hold and how I am doing with it. 🙂



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