Witness to Life

I have this thing about watching a movie alone in a theatre, i.e. without company, or a play or going to a concert alone. I just can’t. I have tried it several times and that has spoiled the most wonderful movies/plays/concerts for me.

It is silly really. I have almost hoped that the movie is not too good if I am watching it alone. What would I do if there is a great joke and I want to laugh my guts out or if there is a song so melodious that I am tempted to hum along?  I just can’t do it if I am alone. Nobody can. It just feels insane to me, not to mention to the people sitting at the seats beside you.It seems so trivial but it isn’t. Really what would you do?

Imagine yourself sitting in a dark theatre without any company and watching a movie and enjoying it, laughing uncontrollably, getting to the edge of your seat if it’s a thriller and for that matter crying at an emotional scene (a form of entertainment for a big population) with a hoard of strangers sitting beside you. Can you imagine that? Well, I can’t.

The choice of seat plays a very important role in this business of watching a movie alone. I usually book my tickets online, and it gives me the opportunity to select my own seat. And if you are to watch a movie alone, it is but natural that you would try to pick an aisle seat.

Beside the fact that you are alone, you do not wish to spoil seating arrangements for some family or worse, have some stranger come up to you and say, “Since you are alone, could you move over a seat or two and make room for us?”

There can be several reasons why you have to watch a show alone. Let’s see: You are single for one (due to number of reasons), you have had enough of the dating scene, and all your friends are married and don’t want to go to a movie with you. So basically you are watching the movie alone due to lack of company. And even if you are so lucky to have single “friends” like yourself (Facebook friends not included), it is quite a task to choose one to go to the movies with you.

Gender is an important factor when choosing someone to take along. It is very complex choice to make. Take my example, I am a heterosexual male, and if I am to ask one of my heterosexual female friends to a movie/play/concert it can very easily be misconstrued as a date. Not only in your social circle at large but by the female friend in question itself.  So what’s wrong with a date? Nothing. It’s just too big a word for a damn movie.

And as it happened recently, I asked one of my friends to join me for a show of my favorite writer and she buzzed me off. Can’t exactly say why but maybe because the show was very expensive for her and she was not ready for me to buy a ticket for her because as we say it in India “Hum Aapke Hain Kaun.?” (rough translation : What am I to you). Buzzed me off sounds better though and probably she had other plans, who knows.

See? Very complex. On the other hand, if I were to call one of my male buddies to watch a movie, it would just be two losers watching a movie together. Not only we would be misconstrued as two loners looking for some action but most importantly there is a big chance that we may be mistaken for a Gay couple. As liberal as I am about the sexual orientation of people, I am not ready for this.

Besides all the points made above, the real reason for my phobia of watching movies alone is that it’s FUN. And you do not wish to have fun alone. You do not wish to do anything that is fun if you are alone and for that matter even if it is not fun you do not wish to be alone anyways. You need someone to share everything in your life.

You need a witness to your life.  Everybody does. Otherwise, it would just be series of small incidents that went unnoticed.

So get up and find a witness for your life or a movie whatever first.  See you at the movies.