A brave Fireman was rushed to the hospital for injuries suffered in the line of duty after he swallowed a tiny kitten while trying to revive it with the kiss of life.

For as long as yesterday, I’ve tried to think of ways to be honoured but I just can’t seem to come up with anything at all. Due to the restraining order, I can’t be in the same country as Bon Jovi so I can’t personally stop them from making that so-called music although it definitely will not stop me from trying. There’s no point in even trying to figure out how magnets work because nobody will ever figure that one out. There’s very little chance that I’ll convince America that Paris Hilton should be the one to go up against President Obama so I’m all out of ideas. I could go down the road of swallowing a kitten but that’s already been done:

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