A Red Hot Chili Peppers Song Title

Once again those who are known as the “they” have infected and made me question my life. Because it’s the “they” that say words are universal and can transcend a location. The spiritual side of me wants to believe that. However, the small part of me that is a responsible adult, and I do mean small, finds that words only keep the rent paid from one of two locations. My mortal fear of public transportation and rats puts New York City out of the question, leaving only one place: Los Angeles.

Truthfully, the only thing I find enticing about the city is the amazing sushi and abundance of attractive Asian women. Two things not offered in my preferred hole-in-the-wall bar of city I like to call home, East Nashville. It is exactly two thousand and sixteen miles  from where I rest my head in comfort to where my nights become non-existent continual benders of alcoholic shame. Granted, for the first week it’ll be fun. After that, my strong sense of insecurity and general lack of fitting into the plastic and fake world of perfection will hit me full on.

I guess a piece of my soul is a fair trade off for the luxury of being able to sleep to one in the afternoon almost daily and never really having to go into a “work” setting. Trust me, I know you’re all sitting there reading this thinking to yourself, “This guy is an utter asshole.” And you’re right- I am. I’ve been told that by so many different women I introduce myself as one to any potential warm moist vagina I wish to inhabit for the evening.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is simply, the old adage is true: the grass isn’t always greener in the land of overly waxed pubic hair. And sometimes following your bliss is more of a pursuit to feed a constant void of whatever is missing in your life.

But until I figure out what part of me I’m missing, I’m going to enjoy the spicy tuna and the crazy Asian women… tomorrow. Right now I’m fucking exhausted and more than a little intoxicated.

So my little dedicated hoard of haters, stalkers and ex-girlfriends who wish me death, I leave you with wishes of peace and a huge fuck you. But as always I say it with love and a cocky self-assured smile. Because it’s Hollywood bitches: everyone’s an actor.

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5 thoughts on “A Red Hot Chili Peppers Song Title”

  1. I love that you mention sushi and Asian women in a sentence without connecting them with anything more than a conjunction. Very restrained and very nearly adult of you. Looking forward to more posts when you’re not inhabiting a vagina.

  2. I love sushi. I think it might be worth a transfer to LA for sushi, but I hate drama. Is that inevitable there? You seem to have a lot of it. 🙂

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