The town of Middleborough, Massachusetts has banned profanity. Anyone caught swearing has to pay a $20 fine. Upon hearing about this new ordinance, the White House has decided to follow suit and enforce a national ban on bad words as well. Statisticians calculate that levying the same $20 fine will result in the resolution of the US debt crisis in approximately 1.2 hours. This is so goddamn great! Oops, make that 1.999 hours.