Don’t Call ME Babe!

Pam in Barb Wire - Minutes of Mayhem

 

Pam in Barb Wire - Minutes of Mayhem
It's just as well I was able to get hold of this library image of Pamela Anderson. Otherwise, I would have had to have scanned my old photocard that I used to have on my bedroom wall, and then spent hours photoshopping all the sperm stains out.

 

 

I sometimes struggle to come to any kind of understanding of what drives certain surveys to be carried out.

You tend to forget, they don’t often just pluck these things out of thin-air. Before you read, hear, or see the results of these fascinating surveys, some grey suit wearing douche-bag has at some point called a meeting of several spotty recent graduates.

These are individuals with broken dreams, who have had to take a terrible job in agency PR, in order to work in the ‘meejah’ and  get a job in ‘proper’ PR (You know, the glamourous stuff with limos and having Lady Gaga as a contact on their Blackberry, and all that crap) and at some point, aforementioned suited douche has asked said graduates to go on the streets, with clipboards, and actually ask this shit.

I mean, sure, “do you feel you pay too much auto insurance?” or “would you rather have cancer, or have an eel inserted up your ass” seem like perfectly reasonable burning questions, and it IS useful to get the barometer of public feeling on them.

But, “what pet-name would make you want to punch your partner  in the eye”  seems a little redundant, doesn’t it?

Well, according to a survey carried out by one of our British websites called “Siteopia“, only 25% of people call their partner by their actual name all the time.  The rest have ‘pet names’ for each other.

One in six men refer to their wife as “the boss”. One in 14 call her “the ball and chain.”

Wow. My guess is that one of the spotty graduates must have hung outside of a working men’s club, for miners from the 1950s.

Anyway, here are the 10 pet names that women hate most:

 

#1.)  Babe.

#2.)  Sweet cheeks.

#3.)  Snookums.

#4.)  Baby doll.

#5.)  Baby girl.

#6.)  Muffin.

#7.)  Ducky.

#8.)  Baby cakes.

#9.)  Sexy pants.

#10.)  Pudding.

 

What’s even worse, is that one in 10 guys say their friends found out their wife’s pet name for THEM, either by her accidentally using it in public, or by friends reading their texts.

And here lies the very reason why ‘Generation Z’ is mashing uglies after just a few hours of knowing each other.

Yes, it MAY be a little awkward ignoring the “can I see you again?” texts, and call barring the exciting new phone number they excitedly took down in between sips of Mojitos two nights ago. But, it’s also less likely you’ll be hearing, “hey pudding, would you come to meet my parents at the weekend? They want to meet my lovely muffin” if they don’t even know your birthday.

 

(Read more of Neal Mayhem’s chaos at http://www.minutesofmayhem.com)

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