I want to thank Thomas Sullivan for his fall-on-the-floor hilarious piece that can be found here: Signs That He’s Probably Not the One. I thought it would only be fair to present a woman’s point of view about the sometimes tricky process of getting to know members of the opposite sex.
Signs That a Woman Really and Truly Doesn’t Like You:
She crosses the street when she sees you coming.
Her pet name for you is “Asshole.”
She has blocked all of your email addresses.
She takes calls from telemarketers, but never from you.
She has tried to pass you on to her gay male friends.
She turned you down the last ten times you asked her out.
She has taken out a restraining order against you for being a pest.
She marries another man.
She moves in with another man.
She moves in with two other women and another man.
She moves back in with her parents and her six-foot, 250 pound brother who can crush bones with his bare hands.
She keeps telling you she isn’t interested in having anything to do with you.
She lies to you and tells you she’s gay.
She starts a conversation with, “You’re a sweet guy …”
She starts a conversation with, “I hate to hurt you …”
She took every present you ever gave her and donated them to a local thrift shop.