Don’t wear a pair of Espadrilles in the rain. Your feet will never recover from the emotional trauma.
If you want your cat to do something, make him think you don’t want him to do it. This isn’t easy, because the average cat is too smart for the most intelligent human.
A fat woman should never wear a bikini in public. Those suits with the little skirts are already bad enough. I am a fat woman, which makes me an expert, so pay attention.
Doing incredibly dumb things is not a recommended way to win an award. (*)
If you are really bad at something, don’t try to find people who will say you are good at it. You won’t get any better at it just because you got someone to kiss your butt.
Guys: If a woman acts like she doesn’t like you, don’t assume she is playing hard to get. She probably really doesn’t like you.
(*) A Darwin Award, of course: http://www.darwinawards.com/index.chapter1.html