1. Don’t walk out into a rainstorm without an umbrella right after you have spent $65 on a wash, cut and blow dry. It is also counterproductive to stick your head under water like Georgy Girl.
2. Face it. If you remember Georgy Girl,(1) you are old.
3. If you are fat and stepladders make you nervous, don’t try to put up new shades yourself. Acting helpless, pleading, bribing and guilt tripping are effective ways to get someone else to do it.
4. If you want to adopt a cat, try to find a dumb one. This is next to impossible, but you can do it with persistence and luck. The average smart cat will run you bowlegged trying to keep up with him.
5. College courses include such things as grades, quizzes, presentations, midterms and finals. They also include sitting in a classroom with a bunch of twentysomethings, at least one or two of whom are smart, or think they are, and will do their obnoxious best to try to prove it to everyone else. It is useful to remember all this when you decide, at age 50 or 60, that it would be fun to go back and take a few classes.
More to come at some point in the next couple of weeks. I need time to think these things up.
(1) This is Georgy Girl, in case you actually give a damn.