Kathy’s Points to Remember — Going to the Movies

1. If you are one of those people who can never find your way around anywhere, even if someone gives you exact directions and draws a map, you will need a guide to show you how to get to the IMAX theater in your local AMC Loews Multiplex.

2. In fact, you might want a guide to help you find your movie, period. You wouldn’t want to end up seeing Celeste and Jesse Forever when you were dying to see Total Recall, or vice versa.

3. Just because the nice person who took your ticket gave you a pair of 3D glasses does not mean they are a gift to you because you are a valued patron. You have to give them back when you leave. Those are the rules.

4. Expensive movie theater concession snacks don’t taste any better than the stuff you can smuggle in for free.

5. Putting used gum under the seats or on the floor is not recommended, and it serves you right if you step on it yourself. The same goes for spilling Coke on the floor.

6. If you choose to sit in an aisle seat, you don’t have any right to get annoyed when people come in and climb over you to get to the empty seats in the middle of the row. They paid just as much for their tickets as you did. Yes, they did. Really. So be nice.

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6 thoughts on “Kathy’s Points to Remember — Going to the Movies”

  1. Well said, Kathy. To hell with popcorn. Years ago, I once smuggled some KFC extra crispy for my viewing of Brokeback Mountain.

    1. The great big handbags that some of us women carry around are useful for carrying contraband snacks into a movie theater. Why pay their inflated prices, right?

      If there were a contest, though, I think you would win first prize for the KFC extra crispy. That must have taken some planning, just to make sure you wouldn’t get grease on your clothes.

  2. Personally, I love accidentally touch chewed up gum. Nothing makes me concentrate more on the movie than wondering if I have been exposed to some kind of flesh eating bacteria from the pre-chewed gum.

    1. I once sat on a piece of gum. I think it was on a subway seat. I tried hard to get that gum off the pants I was wearing, but I don’t think it ever came off. That stuff really sticks.

      IMHO, whoever puts chewed-up gum on a subway seat should be sentenced to have 100 wads of gum stuck in his hair and be forced to leave them there for a year.

  3. Your point to remember about the pairs of 3D glasses really hits home. I know it’s wrong to keep the glasses but how else am I supposed to make a decent profit, selling 3D glasses, if I don’t get them for free?

    1. Tch, tch, tch! Bill! Shame on you for making a profit off the backs of the movie theater moghuls and not offering to share it with the rest of us.

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