Kathy’s Points to Remember II

Children, if you don’t eat all of your vegetables your brain cells will starve to death and you could end up being a humor writer.

If you don’t behave yourself you will wind up living in an apartment with a cat, writing for a humor website and everybody will laugh at you.

Be kind to old people. You’ll be one someday, if they don’t murder you first.

Don’t sleep in the subway. The moron across from you has a video camera, and your snoring will end up on YouTube. You will become an Internet star and people will want your autograph. You will be offered a book deal, and asked to star in the film version. You will become a C-List celebrity. You will turn into a sex-crazed, alcoholic, cocaine-sniffing, weed smoking mess. So what am I getting at again? Oh yeah. Don’t sleep on the subway.

Money is not the most important thing in your life, but it makes some of the important things a whole lot easier to get.

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