It isn’t advisable to tell your boss to take the project he just assigned you and shove it up his ass. He might shove it up yours instead. It would be awfully embarrassing to have to explain to people in the elevator why you have a roll of paper and a computer stuck up your rear.
Don’t listen to office gossip unless it is about you, in which case you will want to check it for accuracy.
If you are sick but go to work anyway, don’t sneeze, breathe on or touch anyone, except that evil bitch in the corner cubicle. Office morale will improve in direct ratio to how sick you are able to make her.
Receptionists are human beings, too. So are the mailroom guys. If the receptionist is having a flagrant fling with one of the mail sorters, they aren’t doing anything that the CEO isn’t doing with his favorite female executive. They’re just doing it on the floor next to the scale in the mailroom instead of on a blue velvet couch in front of a panoramic view in a posh office on the 40th floor.
If the mailroom guy and the receptionist manage to sneak into the CEO’s posh office at night and have sex on top of his desk, it’s nobody’s business as long as they don’t leave any incriminating DNA that shows and put everything back exactly the way they found it.