Matchmaking for Mediocrity

I was sitting in a doctor’s waiting room bored out of my mind waiting for my friend to come out from her exam. In an effort not to fall asleep, I reached for a magazine hoping it would pique my interest.  The publication I picked seemed to tell the tale of how to be happy if you are a wealthy resident of our county.  The magazine contained stories which covered topics such as creating cascading waterfalls in one’s backyard; the newest “must haves” in estate kitchens; and what to do if you are wealthy and single and in search of a mate.

Quite frankly, I didn’t think wealthy and single sounded like such a bad thing, but according to the matchmaker-to-the-rich, who was interviewed in one of the articles, wealthy and single people live a difficult existence. If this was an online publication that had a comment section, I would have said, “I don’t know how to break this to you or your clients, but wealthy and single beats the hell out of being poor and single–or for that matter–poor and married.”  But somehow I don’t think the matchmaker would have appreciated or even cared about my opinion. In the interview, she made it clear that the rich needed her, so she only took on clients who had a very hefty bottom line and a desire for a monogamous relationship.

I think matchmaking is becoming a booming business. Today’s matchmaker is no longer like the old lady matchmaker in Fiddler on the Roof. Granted, that woman was great at her job. She matched dozens of people in a town of about 100 people that made Siberia look like paradise. Sure, sometimes a 16-year-old had to marry an 80-year-old, but that was a guarantee for security. And I don’t think in the days just before the Russian Revolution people were quite as picky when it came to finding a mate. If someone had a cow, that was deemed a good catch.

Today’s matchmaker is more like the non-fictional Millionaire Matchmaker who has a show on one of the cable channels.  I watched this show a few times, and to be honest, the matchmaker is a bit annoying and many times not too successful in the matching department, but clients continue to sign on for her service. So, she must at least offer them hope.

Recently, I saw a matchmaking expert on a talk show, and he said the resurgence of matchmaking has come about because single people are tired of the bar scene and dating sites. I can understand this completely. I have helped out many a friend write their profiles for the online dating sites, and it can be an intimidating process. Also, the bar scene is iffy at best and even if you go as someone’s wing girl, you are subject to potential ridicule and threats spewed at you by over-40 women in 20-something clothes who make it clear which men in the room they have dibs on.

I think if I was single, I would consider going to a matchmaker. Granted, I am unsure what type of matchmaker would take me on with my budget. Hopefully, there is either a discount matchmaker out there or perhaps Walmart offers this service in some of their stores in the deep South next to the nail salon and gun and firearms area. While it is a given that I won’t be matched with internet billionaires or Hollywood hunks, there is a good possibility that I could catch the eye of a reliable fast food manager. Hey, if he’s employed, he’s got my vote  plus as a fast food manager, he could get me free milkshakes and burgers for my dogs. Doesn’t sound like such a bad deal now–does it?

Luckily, I am still married unless, of course, my husband has other plans and really, who could blame him?  So, I was thinking that one of the best ways to understand the world of the matchmaker–in case I need one in the future–is to become one myself. I don’t know the exact training one needs for this career, but I am willing to learn since it probably pays more regularly than freelance writing. I would think matchmaking is a real “gut” instinct type of job, and I think I have good guts for people and relationships.  Besides, even if I screw up big time, what could go wrong?

I am excited to find out how to get into this field. Are there courses at University of Phoenix or ITT Tech that I can take?  I think with a little research, a little luck, and a willingness to  match non-millionaires who might not be so selective about who is looking in their checkbooks, I might be able to start a new enterprise, “Matchmaking for Mediocrity” where breathing–not breeding is the most important quality in a potential mate.


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6 thoughts on “Matchmaking for Mediocrity”

  1. Lemme know when you’re ready to go. I’ll probably still be available. Sigh…

      1. Can I sign on as your second client? I’m pretty pathetic, so I would make a nice challenge.

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