Pat Robertson Quote Generator

As Pat Robertson has gotten on in years, even he has taken to technology to assist him in some of his important duties. His most important duty is, of course, helping the world at large make sense of things when tragedy strikes.

These days, with a few simple swipes on a touchscreen, we all can receive Pat’s wisdom.

“The recent

(choose one)
A. earthquake
B. volcano
C. tsunami
D. shooting
E. plane crash
F. tornado
G. flood
H. fire
I. blizzard
J. inflation
K. drought
L. avalanche
M. low jobs report

was the result of God being angry about

(choose one)
A. atheists
B. homosexuals
C. fornicators
D. abortions
E. President Obama
F. history of voodoo
G. evolution
H. homosexuals
I. no prayer in schools
J. demon spirits
K. the ACLU
L. Jews
M. feminists
N. homosexuals
O. pact with the devil
P. tectonic plate theory
Q. Mars rover
R. Kardashians
S. Public schools
T. homosexuals
U. halloween
V. too many mosques
W. Fifty Shades of Grey

so we better

(choose one)
A. vote for Romney
B. put prayer back in schools
C. cure homosexuality
D. pray for forgiveness
E. believe in God
F. renounce Satan
G. avoid pork products
H. leg press 1000 pounds
I. pray very hard to baby Jesus
J. quit yoga class
K. send money
M. end pact with devil
N. eat more chikin

before he gets angry again.”

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4 thoughts on “Pat Robertson Quote Generator”

  1. It’s good to know that when Pat finally bites the big one, we’ll still have this handy quote generator to fill the void. BTW, I think “low jobs report” should have been after the letter B and not M. Other than that, it’s perfect!

  2. Richard, I just laughed out loud. I don’t even have a witty comment; I just laughed out loud. Might I just add that perhaps I could use this to skip yoga class for a few weeks?

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