Please stop what you’re doing right now and listen to me as I regale you with my cautionary tale. Don’t for one moment, think that this could never happen to you because it so very easily could.
On reflection, I probably more than likely deserved it but on reflection of my reflection, I didn’t deserve it. In life, I’m a loser and because of this, I don’t like to win because that way I can never lose.
Thirsty Dave made me drink what he was drinking and I became a different animal completely. Gone was the shy, retiring, timid son of a bitch that I sometimes claim to be. In his place was someone who kills a kitten every time Chuck Norris masturbates.
I found myself on a makeshift dance floor in a makeshift pub on an island that was populated by Hawaiian people who wore grass skirts on the Hawaiian island that I was on. After some serious encouragement by Jill Y, I found myself attempting to limbo under the tiniest of spaces.
My body somehow became elastic like as I slid under the pole thing with consummate easy. There was no way anybody was going to crawl so low so I celebrated, Neanderthal style like a possessed ape on non prescription drugs.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a suave sophisticated man, of midget proportions. He proceeded to groove his way under the limbo thing, as cool as Sugartastic Daddy John looks when his afro is funktastically on form, all the time, mocking me with a little two fingered salute. I’ve never wanted to kill a man before but came mighty close that evening. I’ll never forget the feeling and so I warn you now. For Gods sake, please heed my warning:
