Puppies, Kittens and America

I was challenged to write something funny. Truth is I don’t do “funny” outside the confines of one hundred and forty characters or Final Draft.

Funny is subjective too many things; too many outside factors. I know certainly my opinions differ from the twenty million plus who watch The Office weekly. Yes I hate The Office. To list some other things I also hate… puppies, kittens and America.

What the fuck is humor?!

I’m not going to set here typing and telling you what I think is funny. How about a list of things that aren’t funny? Actually if I did that… this; whatever the fuck I’m writing would probably be number one. So scratch that.

Damn this hard.

Wait! Dick jokes are always funny. Unless it’s your dick getting made fun of; god damn, bad high school memory. Block it out. Go to your happy place. No, that wasn’t a Happy Gilmore reference and Adam Sandler has never been funny.

I’m a total failure at this challenge. Much like life if you ask my father or any member of my family… friends, people who don’t even know me.

What’s funny shouldn’t be told to you though. It should be your honest reaction. Fuck the critics, fuck your stupid ass friends; because let’s be honest here, they’re stupid. Hell fuck me. I think Steve Carell is a walking example of what’s wrong in society. So my opinion means nothing, really.

What was my opinion though?

Oh yeah… I hate puppies, kittens and America.

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3 thoughts on “Puppies, Kittens and America”

    1. Oh hell no. Apple pie sucks in comparison to cherry pie (the type referred to in that famous 80’s song). Sunshine leads to productivity (who the hell needs that?) Rainbows are just gay. And I think we’ve establish my disdain for kids coming to my door begging for money and their hot mom’s not even offering hand jobs as compensation.

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