The future is a war-ravaged hellhole

Thirsty Dave has changed. His birthday comes around once a year and we usually get him shares in the local brewery as a present. He’s slowly but surely amassing a substantial ownership of that place and if the thirsty one is happy, it makes all of our lives that bit more bearable. This year he’s put in a different request for his birthday. Instead of shares, he wants an aquarium to house 3 turtles. We sat him down, waited a week for him to become sober and told him that he didn’t have any turtles and therefore didn’t need an aquarium. It turns out that he’s right bang in the middle of his first selfless act and wants it for Battleworx, one of his newer friends:


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