The Pilfered Penis

And out of the “EWWWW!” file although by today’s standards, it would be the “Yay, you deserve it!”  file: a man in China was ambushed in his home, but the burglars took nothing but his penis.

According to the victim, who was known for his amorous rendezvous with many, many…many  women in his local village, a group of men burst into his home, put a bag over his head and just like that — no penis.  And unlike Lorena Bobbitt, who had the decency to throw her-ex-husband’s penis away which allowed rescuers to find it and provide man and organ with a happy reunion, the penis pilferers, who police believe were the jealous lovers of the cheating women, took the organ with them.

Is there a lesson here?  Well, I guess the first one would be: Don’t cheat!  But since that is not always the rule people adhere to, we will move on to the second lesson: Think with your head and by that I mean the organ that sits on top of your shoulders.  If you live in a village where it’s okay to cut off offending body parts, go cheat somewhere else where they might have a different philosophy for revenge. It could save you a lot of pain down the road.

I don’t know; I think I really miss the days when people just filed for divorce.



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8 thoughts on “The Pilfered Penis”

  1. I assume the detached organ will be the prime exhibit in a new museum they are building in the Lothario’s honor — sort of like the museums that claim to have John Dillinger’s “gun”.

  2. Gone are the days of old fashion panty raids. I draw the line at penis plucking! 😉

      1. I don’t think so. It’s been tried before. Remember Abelard and Heloise and Heloise’s not-very-nice uncle, who had Abelard plucked because he plucked Heloise’s virginity?

        Lorena Bobbitt didn’t start a trend, either.

        Most men prefer to keep their parts where they are supposed to be, and I think most women prefer their men that way, too. 😉 😀

        (This discussion, which started out mildly raunchy, has now reached it’s low point, which is probably why it has been so much fun.)

  3. If the Don Juan managed to have amorous trysts with many, many women in one little village, that village must have some of the horniest women in the world! LOL!

    That said, I think the action taken by the local amateur vice squad was pretty extreme.

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