The Teenage Boy’s Dream Date?

It’s Prom season–the season of young love and romance and the season when teenage boys and girls go on the hunt for their dream date who will put that special punctuation on their high school experience. For one kid at the North St. Paul-Maplewood-Oakdale School District in Minnesota, that special punctuation turned out to be a series of shocked exclamation points when school officials found out that his dream date was a porn star that might of been on websites similar to teen tuber xxx.

Imagine that; who knew that an 18-year-old would have fantasies about porn stars? What male thinks this way? Okay, pretty much every male, but as it turns out not anyone who has any say in the operation of this kid’s school district.

This is how the date transpired: Mike Stone, the 18-year-old male in question, tweeted out more than 600 messages to porn stars asking if any would be interested in going to his prom. He did get a “Yes” from Megan Piper and at least one other adult movie actress. Mike selected 19-year-old Megan who agreed to be his date if he paid her airfare and expenses which would cost about $400.

Only thinking about how jealous his guy friends would be because his date was a porn star, Mike did something stupid and began boasting to everyone online and offline about his date’s occupation. He failed to realize that what you say on Twitter and Facebook stays on Twitter and Facebook. Anyway, the boasting caught the attention of a parent, a school administrator or perhaps a jealous guy who didn’t have a porn star date and didn’t want Mike to have one either–well, long story short–Mike was summoned to the principal’s office where he was told that no porn stars were allowed at the prom.

To be honest, the district’s bylaws don’t specifically mention porn stars but the rules do say the school has the right to ban any prom date who might cause unnecessary attention and “substantially disrupts the orderly operation of school or school activities”. And it was in this loophole that the porn star fit.

The other problem that Mike encountered: his parents had no idea about their son’s date plans until the principal called and told them who their boy’s special escort was and how he got this date. Understandably, the parents went into a panic because having their son and his escapades all over the internet probably does not bode well for one’s pending college application.

And what about the “Queen for a Day” porn star? Honestly, I sort of feel badly for her. She was willing to go to the dance. She never got to go to her prom as her family moved in her senior year of high school and she couldn’t go back to her hometown for her dance. I am also saddened because at 19, the kid is already a porn star. How do you go from high school to adult movies in about a year and a half? And before all the ultra-conservatives get all bothered by this young woman, let me just say in her defense that she showed a lot of class when she found out she was banned from this prom. She understood the school’s hesitation and she agreed that she might become a distraction to most of the young men, and so she backed out gracefully.

I have to wonder if the school would have banned other celebrities such as Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift? I remember an episode of “The Brady Bunch” when Davy Jones went to Marcia’s dance with her, and the school didn’t ban him. Okay, no one except Marcia and her parents knew about her campaign to get Davy Jones. Back then, there was no Twitter that sent the same message to hundreds of celebrities in seconds. No, back in the olden days, one had to write real letters and put things called “postage stamps” on them and send them off into the mysterious Post Office cyberspace. So, would the school district have banned Davy Jones for Marcia if she had tweeted him? Well, as it turns out, maybe they would because he’s dead, and a dead guy showing up for a dance might prove disruptive.

You know, if this kid thought with the brain in his head instead of the one that lies below his belt buckle—I know, difficult for any guy—he would have realized that if he kept quiet about Megan Piper’s occupation, he would have had his dream date. The 19-year-old girl would have fit right in unless she wore one of her costumes from her flicks. No one would have been the wiser and he would have had the ultimate end to his high school career.

Now, poor Mike Smith, will forever be known as the kid who tried to get a porn star date and worse, his parents will be known as the ones who brought the internet porn sex addict into this world. Ah, teenagers. Once again, we see proof that the teen years exist to remind parents why it’s okay not to miss your kids when you ship them off to college.