What Are Male Turn Offs?

According to a photo article in the Huffington Post (which is an article aimed at readers who can’t read a lot of words), men have problems bonding with a woman whose house contains or exhibits certain things. To be blunt, Ladies if you are single and looking for a self-absorbed guy, read this list.

It seems that one of the biggest turn offs for men are cats. I sort of don’t get this. I think cats are cute, but I am a woman. Apparently, men don’t share my affection for the furry felines. And it’s not just live and breathing cats that annoy men. Men hate stuffed kittens as well.  They also hate stuffed dogs, cows, pigs, Winnie the Pooh, creepy baby  dolls or anything else that reminds them of a woman’s childhood.  Interestingly enough, the article did not show one picture of Barbie when they showed dolls. My theory on this is that  Barbie has boobs, long legs and stiletto heels, so  Barbie might be okay with men especially if she is dressed in sheer lingerie or a leather miniskirt and, if she is not in near proximity of a  Ken.  The anatomically incorrect Ken probably scares men to death.

Also on the male hit list, posters of professional male athletes or celebrities.  I don’t have to be Sigmund Freud to understand that the fragile male ego is at work here. Men do not like to think that women might be fantasizing about David Beckham or Brad Pitt while they are with them.  Do you know what is truly strange about this male poster business? Men think it’s inconsiderate on a woman’s part to have these celebrity posters in their view, but they think owning porn is perfectly natural and women should be okay with it.

I do agree with one pet peeve on the men’s list: bathtub drains clogged with hair.  Long locks or short hairs tend to make me gag, so I get how men would find it disgusting too. Plus, for a man who is losing his hair, the abandoned strands might incite panic especially if those  strands are the same color as the hair on his head.

Another no-no for men is women who keep their toilet seats down. Men think women do this on purpose to thwart their aiming efforts when they stroll into the bathroom especially in the wee hours of the night when their aiming ability is not up to  peak performance level. This is so untrue. Women have no desire to put up obstacles for your aiming; we love when your aim is perfect. However, just because we would like you to shoot a perfect bulls eye and not make a mess of the entire bathroom, doesn’t mean we need to prepare your target for you. If you can get up the energy to aim, you can get up the energy to pick up the lid. You gentlemen might not be aware of this, but it is good Feng Shui to keep the toilet seat down as it minimizes the risk of positive energy and success being flushed down the commode.  I am not kidding, look it up. In fact, here is the link (http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-539/Feng-Shui-Bathroom-Tips.html). So, before you moan and groan about having to lift the lid, you should be thanking the woman in your life for trying to protect your future and not chastising her for taking down your point-and-shoot average.

This last male turn off leaves me baffled. It seems that men hate to see boxes of tampons in a woman’s home.  Perhaps, men should consider a life without tampons.   Let’s face it, the alternative to having no tampons around is too gross to mention or it means you have found yourself a post-menopausal woman which isn’t bad if you are looking for a 50+ woman or worse, you are closer to a paternity suit than you think. So, love that tampon box, men. It might be your lifesaver.