Why Mother’s Day Sucks | HumorOutcasts

Why Mother’s Day Sucks

May 11, 2012
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Mother’s Day. Every damn year we celebrate this holiday. Sorry, this “day.” I mean, can we really call it a “holiday”? Would the post-office stop delivering mail or the banks close if Mother’s Day was on a week day? Think about it. It’s purposely on a Sunday because it is not important enough to have it on a week day. Not important enough to stop all traffic, work and other stimulation.

But then, we do somehow make it quite the to-do on the Sunday it falls on. We buy gifts, make plans, go out to eat, do good deeds and spend time with our families. And that, my friends and enemies, is why Mother’s Day sucks.  Below are top three reasons:

1) We are moms. We freaking get that. We are reminded of that fact every day. We are no longer single, young or cute women. If we still have young kids, we can not go wherever we want on any given day. We are no longer seen as “Julie” but as “Mrs. Wimmer” or “Nina’s mom.” We are very aware of this every darn day, so why can’t there be one day where we are not reminded of that. Yea, it’s rewarding, blah blah blah, but we need a break instead of it being thrown at our wrinkling faces full force.

2) Spending more time with the family. I love mine. My kids are great and fun and creative. My  husband is a nice guy and a good dad. But I also see them every damn day. I spend time with them every damn day. We all wake up together, ride in the car together, eat together, hang out together, every damn day. On Mother’s Day, we should go out with our friends, other mothers perhaps, and just get obliterated on chocolate martinis.

3 Getting gifts and cards. Yes, when the kids make cards in school or at home, that is fabulous. We’ll just have to do the whole refrigerator rotation of the many other home-made projects to hang those cards up. The gifts, however, well, flowers die. I said it. If it’s not still carrying roots and in soil, it’s not worth it. Also, I do not need a vacuum, a subscription to Good Housekeeping, a blender or another CD you think I will enjoy. The gift I would like would be a day at a spa. By myself.

Most of us love our kids. We love going to their after-school activities and talking to them and learning with them. We enjoy our husbands who are our partners,  and we enjoy the friendship that relationship brings us. But on Mother’s Day, fuck all of that! Forget the love, bring on the booze and meet me at the spa!

Wilma Jammer

Say whatever you want while you can. I am an open book mystery. My experience: Too much (head exploded) and Not Enough (everyday, something new).

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2 Responses to Why Mother’s Day Sucks

  1. May 11, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    Well said Mrs. Wimmer but how cool would it be, if it was an actual holiday – that would mean no work! I’ll get the Facebook page going!

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      May 15, 2012 at 2:57 pm

      You mean, of course, no work for Mom, right?



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