Why Republicans Lost (Not Suitable for the Title)

Since President Obama won the election there has been much deliberation over what Republicans did wrong and what they need to do over the next few years to regain seats in Congress as well as the White House.

Republicans need to stop talking about this.

Before I get to that I must confess my dereliction of civic duty. I did not vote. That’s right and I am damn proud of it. Neither party really got me excited this year so ipso facto I did not want to affirm any of their respective agendas. Besides that the jury pool in my part of the land is taken from the latest batch of active voters from the most recent general election. I abhor jury duty. I might add they don’t give me a minute to breath after voting before calling me. When I am walking out of the voting booth and I say to the staff, “Thank you and have a nice day…” their response is, “Yes have a nice day and by the way here is your summons.”

Okay, back to the Republicans and what they need to do to start winning. I couldn’t put it in the title of this post because it is crude. It needs to be crude to drive the point home. If you are easily offended now would be a good time to stop reading.

Ready? Here we go. The Republicans need to forget about pussy.

Freudian psychoanalysis suggests that women have what is termed as penis envy. The term is kind of self explanatory. I have known a fair amount of women in my time. I have known women as family members, friends, and lovers. As far as penises are concerned, some women may like a good old fashioned role in the hay with a big one from time to time but for the most part women do not obsess over penises.

Men, on the other hand, put up shrines to pussy. Furthermore, generally speaking the more conservative a man is the more obsessed he is going to be about who is controlling the pussy. Republicans need to exorcize this pussy control demon.

Republicans need to stop talking about abortion. Republicans need to stop talking about contraception. Republicans need to stop talking about categories of rape. Republicans need to stop talking about Planned Parenthood. Republicans need to stop talking about under what marital status pussy can be enjoyed. Republicans need to stop talking about whether or not it is right for other women to enjoy the benefits of pussy. Republicans need to stop talking about removing pictures of pussy from the internet.

Republicans need to go home and actually get some pussy. That’s the problem right there.

I was disappointed that neither party really tackled major issues during the campaign season. Did any body hear that the middle class has been disappearing since the 1970s? Did we hear the term fiscal cliff before the election? There is not going to be a warm fuzzy solution for that one. How often did we hear about real solutions to the problems regarding Social Security, Medicare or the interest on the debt? Why don’t we talk about making defense spending more efficient especially in regard to helping the soldiers on the ground?

If Republicans would have had a fireside chat with the American people about these issues they may have very well won the election. Instead, especially during their primary season, they let the extremes in their party set the agenda on every issue not just women’s reproductive rights.

Consequently not only did Republicans lose female voters big-time in this election but women became part of a new governing coalition. Earlier this year before the primaries, especially considering the ailing economy, it was not a foregone conclusion that women would not vote for Republicans in mass.

Do you know what that means Republicans? That means pussy politically smells like cologne, so leave it alone.

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12 thoughts on “Why Republicans Lost (Not Suitable for the Title)”

  1. I love this! This is so damn funny and spot on. Thank you for making me laugh out loud. Funny how things drift down below the belt. This week I wrote about ditching the first family and my own family so I could bang the president. Time to STOP thinking about pussy!

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