Yoga Poses Pose New Challenges

I recently started a yoga class at my gym with my friend Judy.  This was not an impulsive decision. We watched the class in session from our vantage point on the treadmills that lie on the other side of the glass wall from where the class is held.  We decided to enroll in the Friday morning class.

On the first Friday, we walked in with an excitement that said, “Wow, we are cool; we are doing yoga.”  We put our mats next to each other in the back of the room so that we could watch the class from a safe distance. We definitely did not want to stand out as the newbies.

Before the class began people were stretching to get ready for class.  I didn’t get this.  If yoga is a class about stretching, why do I have to stretch before the class starts?  If I have to stretch before yoga class, do I then have to stretch at home before I head to the gym so I can pre-stretch for the stretching before the yoga class? If that is how it goes, I would think my entire life would be one big stretching routine.

Believe it or not, Judy got my logic and we decided to just catch up and chat and pretend to stretch.  Then Bob our instructor quietly walked to the front of the room and said in a very low and soothing voice, “Let’s begin.”

I have to admit that his demeanor caught me off guard. The only exercise classes I have taken in the past were taught by overly developed and extra firm young women who yelled and screamed to get the class into a fitness frenzy.  But Bob was so sweet and calm, and he nearly lulled me to sleep during the first 15 minutes of the class that consisted of deep breathing, gentle stretches and relaxation techniques.

Then he started with the poses. The first few poses with my legs crossed seemed okay. No problems noted. And then we went into downward dog which required bending over and placing our hands and feet squarely on the mat which aimed our tushies right at the glass wall and into the treadmill section.  I was suddenly very conscious of my middle aged butt on display and hoped I had put on good underwear which was probably peeking through the top of my yoga pants.

Still, I plowed on. I looked over at Judy and she seemed to be doing great. I didn’t hear any labored breathing and I didn’t see her struggling in any way.  I was impressed and found out later, I was oh so wrongs. Luckily, the two older men in front of me were not having as easy a time as the rest of the class.  Does it sound bad that I wanted someone to be worse at this than me?  Well, then I guess I shouldn’t confess that I was hoping one of them would tip over and look really bad.

As it turns out the downward dog pose was the most relaxing pose of this class.  From the downward dog position Bob would say, “Okay, bring your legs in, stand up halfway, inhale, exhale stand up straight, go into a pushup, hold it and then back to downward dog.”  By the time Bob got done with all these positions, I was more like a dead dog. All I wanted to do was lie on the mat.

Judy and I made painful efforts not to look at each other because we knew we would laugh and that would be the end of the class for us.  But when Bob said to stand up and grab your ankle from the back and extend your arm that is not holding your ankle in front of you, we caught a glimpse of each other attempting this feat, and the giggles started. Since this balancing act was more advanced than our yoga ability, we pretended to hold our ankle behind us and hoped that no one would notice or tell on us.

After the balancing feats were done, Bob settled back into gentle relaxation stretches which ended with us lying on our mats and taking deep breaths with our eyes closed.  I swear I nodded off.  For a few moments, I was back in kindergarten and we were in nap time.  I was hoping that when we opened our eyes,  Bob would have a snack and juice prepared, but alas, there was nothing.  Would it have killed him to give us each a cookie for trying so hard?

It was okay though because it seems Judy read my mind.  After we were dismissed, we folded up our mats and went to the closest diner and had lunch.  And so a new yoga tradition is born. Will the yoga class last for us?  I think for a while because as Bob says, “It will get easier each week.”  Yeah, we’ll see. Bob doesn’t know that while some people are like human pretzels with their flexibility, I am sort of like a potato chip: Try to bend me and I will break.  But if all else fails and Judy becomes a great yoga person and I do not, I can always just meet her for lunch. What can I say? While it’s good to bond over yoga, it’s even better to bond over burgers.

 

 

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