The NRA opened its big meeting last week in Houston. Not surprisingly, Texas governor Rick Perry attempted to steal the show with a video he delivered prior to his speech. In the clip Perry wielded a military-style rifle at a practice range and used it to blow up an egg. From 100 freakin’ yards!! The film ended in slow motion, with Perry removing the clip and giving a hero-style gaze.
Shooting an egg is the perfect analogy for right-wing thinking on guns – it’s totally scrambled. But if a group of terrorists decide to egg the White House, we’ll know just who to call.
You just know the other luminaries at the event aren’t gonna let this stand. They’ll try to one-up and out-macho Perry with videos of their own. Among the videos intended to display even greater gun skills, you can expect to see clips of:
* Sarah Palin shooting an M&M off the tip of Herman Cain’s erect penis.
* Senator Ted Cruz cleanly separating a tiny booger from one of Bill O’Reilly’s nose hairs.
And the winner:
* Ted Nugent picking off a microscopic flake of dandruff as it dances in the breeze, attached to one of Donald Trump’s hairs.
When Ted grins for the camera and says “His hair might be yellow, but I ain’t”, it’ll be all over. Rick Perry will be crushed. He’ll feel just like that coyote he shot while out jogging. For sure.