Bank Customer Service – NOT! | HumorOutcasts

Bank Customer Service – NOT!

November 22, 2013



So my OLD BANK was recently taken over by a NEW BANK. The process of working with and gaining the trust of all the old bank customers is going just GREAT (cue sarcastic eye).

For example, if I try to access my account online, I can only see my account history since NEW BANK took over—basically ALMOST a month (real helpful if you’re a day trader but I’m not).

When NEW BANK took over last month, they promoted kit glove Customer Service for those ex-OLD BANK patriots that were attempting to access their accounts on line for the first time.  Well, here’s how their Noble-Peace-Prize-level of customer service works.

If you call the “Customer Service” number listed on their website, you will get a recording of something along these lines.

“Sorry but we are experiencing a high call volume. We will not be taking messages at this time. Thank you. GOODBYE.”

Goodbye???????????????????????? Come on, not even a “press 2 for Spanish?” Just a simple Adios Amigos. (Oh wait, they DID say Thank You before saying goodbye and hanging up on me.)

So NEW BANK, since you’re kind of in the “numbers” and “math” business, do you think you could have worked a little harder on the X-divided-by-Y-multiplied-by-n-(the number of OLD BANK customers) minus zero (the number zero representing the number of customers that might NOT call for help the first 10 days) divided by n squared calculations that you used to determine how many international operators named Bob, Jane and Mikey to put on?

As a final note to the NEW BANK cheap-as-we-can-be-customer-transition gang, just in case you plan on also taking over the OLD BANK promotional hot-air balloon, we suggest you NOT try to save money by simply STAPLING an NEW BANK banner over the OLD BANK name, Ya Jagoffs!

John Chamberlin

I write about Jagoffs, i.e. stupid politicians, awful sports officials, dumb criminals, bad drivers, ignorant people and on and on. BTW, Jagoff is NOT a swear word. It can be just as confusing as their, there and they're. Sometimes it's actually used as a term of endearment. My Pittsburgh blog is Twitter is @YaJagoff.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook - Pinterest - YouTube

Share this Post:

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

One Response to Bank Customer Service – NOT!

  1. November 22, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    I have a feeling we have the same New bank! They are the worst! Good rant!

User Login

New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle

New Release
Maybe Kevin
By Brian Kiley and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle

New Release
Daddy duJour
By Barbara Hammond and Shorehouse Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle